


Divided

by 1_Lucy_1



Series: The Soldier's Girl [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Action, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:08:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5657266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1_Lucy_1/pseuds/1_Lucy_1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Now Alex has joined the Avengers, it seems as though everything is getting back to normal again - well, as normal as life can be for a super soldier - but when troubles arise and a civil war threatens them all, it's time to choose a side.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello again, and welcome to the third installment of Alex and Bucky's story, Divided - building up to my own take on Civil War :D exciting!

Alex could hear her heart hammering in her chest as she breathed heavily, thankfully she had a momentary respite while Natasha was called away by Fury. Lying flat on the mat, Alex stared up at the ceiling - it'd been at least a month now and Natasha had insisted that she train for at least four hours every day - suffice to say, super soldier or not Alex was exhausted.

"Why is it whenever I leave you alone, I come back to find you on the floor?" She could practically hear the smirk in Natasha's voice.

"Because I find the ceiling very interesting."

Footsteps got closer and before long Alex could see her trainer's face looming over her, "Get up, Lockhart, we're not finished."

"Five more minutes," Alex groaned, throwing her arm over her face dramatically.

"There's no breaks when you're out in the field."

"I think that's something they should introduce."

"Come on," Natasha laughed, grabbing Alex's hands and trying to pull her up, as the trainee played dead, "Don't make me do something I'll regret."

In the short time she'd been working with Natasha, they'd become good friends - it wasn't like that from the start - naturally, the agent had been somewhat wary of the newcomer, but the more time they spent together, Alex felt that Natasha had warmed to her. In a way it seemed as though the agent was happy that there was another woman around to help counteract all the testosterone.

"Fine!" Alex huffed, getting to her feet.

"Oh, don't give me that face - you knew what you were getting into when you agreed to this," Natasha smirked.

Alex's brows shot up, "Excuse me - no one told me just how much training there would be. I'm basically a super soldier and even I'm completely spent. How do you do it?!"

Her eyes turned sad for a moment, "Train as long as I have, and there's no limit." It was the same thing that happened to Bucky every so often, as if the conversation had triggered some kind of memory of a time they wanted to forget. And as she had reacted to Bucky in the past, Alex didn't press the issue.

"Tell you what - drop and give me twenty and we'll call it a day."

"Ten?"

"Fifteen."

"Done."

Muscles sore and just about ready to drop, Alex finally made her way back to her room, in desperate need of a shower. Not long after agreeing to join the Avengers, she and Bucky had joined Steve at the tower in New York - captain's orders. She also had a feeling that the captain had a hand in sorting out their living arrangements, as out of the 93 floors in Stark's building, Alex and Bucky were sharing a floor that basically resembled a fairly roomy apartment.

And though the two of them were civil, friendly even, it was still a little awkward between them. Stepping into the elevator, Alex pressed the button for the 54th floor and sighed heavily, leaning back against the wall, eyes closed as tiredness hit her like a wall. As she came down from the endorphin high it felt as though the gentle hum of the elevator would lull Alex to sleep if it weren't for the mercifully short journey.

Hearing the ping of the elevator's arrival, her eyes, like the doors, opened to find Bucky stood on the other side. He seemed a little taken aback to see her, real hand reaching quickly to run his fingers through his hair, almost as though he was nervous. Alex suppressed the smile that came as she saw him subtly straighten himself up a little.

"Hey," he smiled that broad charming smile, "Just finished training?"

She nodded, "Thank god."

"Yeah, I heard that Fury told Romanov not to hold back with you."

"I think she might be trying to kill me."

They laughed, Alex pushing open the doors that had begun to close, her and Bucky awkwardly switching places so that she now stood outside the doors. "Going out?" she asked, seeing a jacket clutched in Bucky's metal hand.

"Getting dinner with Steve and Sam."

"Well, have fun," Alex gave him a small smile, stepping back from the elevator, her shower calling to her. But before she could get too far, she heard the lift doors open again. Turning back she saw Bucky poke his head out. "Forget something?"

"No - yeah. I mean, you don't want to, er, come with us, do you?"

"Honestly, I think I'm just gonna veg out in front of the TV tonight," Alex smiled, "Thank you, though." And though Bucky smiled in return, it didn't quite reach his eyes, the slight disappointment evident in his baby blues.

But, nevertheless he nodded, "I'll see you later, then."

"Yeah."

After a day of training, nothing felt better than a hot shower, releasing the tension from her aching muscles, and washing the day's grime and sweat away left Alex feeling refreshed. Changing into some pyjamas, she went down the hall to the kitchen in search of food. Forgetting, of course, that neither her or Bucky had actually gone for groceries since they actually arrived.

"I didn't know whether you'd had anything for dinner," Bucky's voice came from the doorway unexpectedly, making Alex jump and whirl around to face him. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"No, it's okay, I just didn't expect you back so soon."

He shrugged, "Steve's out on a mission tomorrow." Walking further into the kitchen, Bucky put a bag on the counter, "Like I said, I didn't know if you'd had anything, so I brought back some food."

Alex softened, touched by his thoughtfulness, "You didn't have to do that."

"I know," Bucky shuffled his feet a little, "I wanted to."

"Well, thank you," she beamed, digging into the bag and taking out the little boxes of Chinese, grabbing a fork from the drawer. Looking up again, Alex saw Bucky heading for the door. "Do you want to join me? I'm gonna watch a movie."

Bucky turned back to her, "What movie?"

"Inception."

His brow furrowed, "What's it about?"

"These guys who into people's dreams to steal their secrets." Bucky looked at Alex like she was insane, "I know it sounds crazy, but it's pretty good."

"Okay…" Bucky still seemed a little wary, but nevertheless he shrugged off his jacket, heading to sit on the couch. "But it does sound crazy."

Alex sat down next to him, food on her lap, as the movie began to play, "Just give it a chance."

Halfway into the movie and Alex had long since finished her food, while Bucky was trying to piece together what was happening in the movie. He'd been so focused on the plot of the movie that he hadn't noticed that Alex had fallen to sleep, her head resting gently on his metal shoulder. Smirking a little, he wondered how she could find that comfortable, but he didn't move, selfishly wanting to enjoy the small amount of contact and wanting to see the end of the movie as well.

By the end, Alex still hadn't woken up, and Bucky was more confused than ever, as rain poured down outside so hard he could hear it hammering against the windows. So, turning off the television, (he hoped), he shifted a little, trying not to disturb Alex's slumber, then gently hooked one arm under her legs and the other around her shoulder, picking her up from the couch. She stirred a little, subconsciously nuzzling her head into his neck and Bucky smiled down at her, carrying her down the hall to her bedroom. He placed her down gently on the bed, covering her with a blanket.

He thought he could keep his feelings for Alex at bay, that it would be easier to be around her as a friend than not at all, but he couldn't escape the fact that every time he looked at her, his heart ached to be close as they were before. Not knowing if Alex felt the same, he didn't say anything, but it was always there when he saw her, when they spoke - hell, it was even there when she _wasn't_ around.

Steve had noticed as much and never failed to bring it up when they were alone, even tonight when they'd walked to meet up with Sam at the restaurant.

_"So…you talk to Alex yet?"_

_"About what?"_

_"About- what do you think? I've seen the way you look at her."_

_"I'm not doing this again. No, I haven't spoke to Alex about that."_

_"Have you spoke to her at all?"_

_"We speak! We spoke just before I came to meet you!"_

_"Okay! Okay. But she still loves you y'know."_

_"I know, she told me. But…there are different kinds of love, Steve. And we're not like we were."_

_"You never will be if neither of you talk about it."_

He'd left dinner early with the intention of talking to Alex. Even bringing the food to make her more comfortable, but then he came back and he saw her. And any words he had just dried up in his mouth.

The problem wasn't not knowing what to say - he knew exactly what he wanted to say; but every time he saw Alex, it just seemed like too much of a risk. If it all went wrong he could lose her completely, so keeping her in his life as a friend seemed a better option than losing her altogether.

"I love you…" he whispered, brushing a strand of hair from her covering her slumbering features.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex woke later in her bed, someone gently shaking her back into consciousness. Last thing she remembered, she was watching a movie on the couch with Bucky - he must have carried her in here.

“Alex?”

Her attention was drawn to the voice of the person who was coaxing her from sleep. Turning on the bedside lamp, she squinted in the light to see their face. “Steve?” She sat up, “What are you doing in my bedroom?” she asked, questioning now whether she was actually awake.

“It’s Bucky,” with those words, Alex was wide awake, “Something’s wrong.”

Getting quickly out of bed, Alex followed Steve from the room, both of them walking quickly towards her roommate’s door. “What happened?”

“I don’t know, I heard a scream, so I came down to see what was wrong,” They paused at the door, and looking inside Alex could see Bucky thrashing around in his bed, eyes squeezed tightly shut. “I tried to wake him, but I couldn’t.”

In her slightly dazed state, Alex barely registered the flash behind her. She turned around to see the storm that was raging outside, the rumbling of thunder beginning to build. Suddenly it clicked. “It’s the storm,” she said with a sigh, remembering that night in her apartment.

“What?”

“When he was with me at my apartment, there was a storm like this. He was the same that night. It reminds him of being on the front during the war.” Her brow furrowed, “How come it doesn’t happen with you?”

“I guess that it’s different with each soldier, I wasn’t on the front in the same way Bucky was,” Steve’s expression was full of concern, “What did you do before?”

“I spoke to him, like how you’d wake a kid up when they’re having a nightmare.”

Bucky’s cries became more painful to hear and Steve winced, straightening up in the doorway, “Can you help him?”

“Yeah, I’ll try.”

“Do you need me to stay?”

Alex shook her head, “It’s fine. You go back to bed; I can handle this.”

“You sure?”

She nodded, and Steve reluctantly backed away from the door, retreating down the hallway only to glance back when he reached the elevator. He paused for a moment and Alex thought he was going to stay, but eventually he pushed the button and disappeared through the doors.

Alex took a hesitant step inside Bucky’s room, watching as his hand fisted in the sheets, clicking loudly as the arm recalibrated. Walking further in, she could see the way his chest rose and fell heavily. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Alex wrapped her hand around his, speaking softly, “Bucky?”

His hand gripped hers tightly, “Bucky?” he gripped tighter still and though it was becoming painful, Alex knew that making any sounds of hurt or sudden movements would only make the situation worse. “Bucky, wake up.”

There was another clap of thunder, and a bright flash of lightning and before Alex knew what was happening, Bucky’s eyes had shot open, his metal hand gripping her wrist out of instinct. He pushed her back, eyes void of emotion – but this time Alex was prepared. Moving quickly behind him, her free arm hooked around his neck, so she was right next to his ear. “Bucky, listen to me, this isn’t you.”

He huffed, relenting his grip on her wrist to grasp at the arm around his neck, but Alex wouldn’t let the new ache in her wrist stop her. “Bucky, please. Listen to my voice. This isn’t you, it’s just the storm.” As she spoke, his breathing began to calm, hands slowing to rest on her arm.

“…Alex?” His voice came in a pained whisper. “What—what happened?”

“The storm,” she didn’t need to say anymore, his head dropping, and Alex could feel the heat radiating from him.

“What did I do?” He pulled back so he could turn to face her, eyes wide and panicked, “Did I hurt you?”

Bucky’s eyes searched her, and Alex was grateful that the red marks on her skin couldn’t be seen in the low light of his bedroom. “No, I’m okay,” she lied, knowing that for the next few days all her shirts would be long sleeved.

He put his head in his hands, breaths still shaky, as Alex rubbed his back in soothing circles to calm him. Thunder clapped again and she felt Bucky’s shoulders tense beneath her hand. Sighing heavily, he ran his fingers through his hair, which Alex now noticed was growing out again.

“I’m sorry…” Bucky’s voice was so quiet, Alex almost missed it. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” his brow furrowed, “But you did wake Steve – he woke me because he was worried about you,” she clarified.

A wave of guilt crossed his features, “You should get back to bed, I’ll be okay now.”

Her brows shot up, “You expect me to believe that? Bucky, you’re shaking.”

“I’ll be fine!” he snapped, and Alex moved away a little, not because he’d scared her, but because he seemed to need the space. Bucky sighed wearily, grasping Alex’s hand, not noticing how she winced at the ache of the newly forming bruises. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” he turned to face her again, “I’m just still a little--”

“I get it,” Alex smiled at him before getting to her feet, scrubbing a hand over her tired face, “I’m glad you’re okay.”

He lifted his eyes to meet hers, “Really?”

She nodded, “Steve wasn’t the only one who was worried, y’know.” He gave her a sweet smile and Alex melted, “Are you sure you’re gonna be okay?”

Bucky smirked, “You can stay if it’d make you feel better.”

Alex chuckled, blushing a little as she dropped her eyes. She wanted to say no, but it would be a lie to try and say that it didn’t feel right to comfort him like she had. “Goodnight Bucky,” she said with a smile, knowing that right now, a little distance would be better. “You know where I am if you need me.”

He nodded, “Night.”

As Bucky watched her leave, he thought that her leaving would hurt more. But, the way she’d comforted him, and said she would be there allowed him a glimmer of hope that she might feel the same way that he did.

 

“So, I’m guessing those are from Barnes’ little storm freakout?” Natasha gestured to Alex’s hand as they trained the next morning. Due to the serum giving her increased ability to heal, the bruises were now a dark purple with a yellowish tinge, which meant that by tomorrow they would be completely gone – and she had to admit to being thankful for that.

“Steve told you then,” she muttered in response, landing a punch on the bag with her uninjured hand.

Natasha shrugged, “Rogers is rarely quiet when it comes to worrying about Barnes.” She walked over to stand on the other side of Alex’s punch bag, “Are you okay though?”

“I’m fine,” she snapped a little and was instantly reminded of Bucky’s defensive attitude the night before. She took a breath before continuing in a more measured tone, “He needed me and I was there for him – that’s all there is to it.”

Her trainer scoffed, “What?” Alex asked, looking her dead in the eye.

“Just you, pretending like you don’t love that he needs you.”

“Nat, the guy was suffering with PTSD!”

“So?”

“So – it’s not like I was comforting him to get into his pants!”

“Don’t you mean _back_ into his pants?” Alex’s jaw hung open, “Oh, come on, Alex I’m not stupid.”

Alex leant against the bag for a moment, “Look, I just helped wake him up and calm him down. Hell, for a while I had him in a chokehold.”

“Kinky.”

“Nat.” With a warning in her tone Alex resumed her exercises and for a while Natasha stood there silently.

“So, you’re still in love with him, right?”

“Aren’t you meant to be training me?”

She grinned, “Ah, so you admit it.”

Alex sighed, “Can we stop talking about this? Please?”

“I’m still not hearing a denial, but sure,” Natasha moved Alex away from the punch bag, “Let’s test your skills.” Alex raised a quizzical brow, and so Natasha explained, “You’re gonna get up there,” she pointed to the beam above the door, “And I want you to disarm and pin the next agent to walk through that door.”

“No, I’m not doing that,” Alex said defiantly.

“Why?”

“Because last time you made me do it, Hill almost shot me in the leg!”

“That’s because you didn’t disarm her,” Natasha smirked, remembering Alex’s squeal as Maria’s gun shot a hole in the punch bag, “Besides, you can heal, so it’s not like you’d be that hurt.”

“It still hurts, even if it heals after.”

Natasha put on a mock pout, “Aw, what is it, Alex – you chicken?”

“Fine!” She stormed over to the door, lifting herself onto the beam with ease. “Next agent who comes in is going on the floor!”

They waited for a good ten minutes before they could hear footsteps coming along the corridor, whoever it was, was waved into the room by Natasha, only for Alex to drop on them, taking their gun and tossing it to one side before pushing them to the floor, knee between their shoulder blades and arms pulled back.

“Good,” Natasha said simply, nodding to Alex, “You can let him up now.”

“What the hell, guys?!” Clint stood up, stretching after the impact of the surprise attack.

Alex retrieved the archer’s gun, holding it out to him, “Sorry Barton – but she called me chicken!” She pointed an accusatory finger at Natasha.

“Okay, Marty McFly.” He rubbed his shoulder, sending a mock-glare Alex’s way.

“See? Clint gets my references.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “I get your references, Lockhart, I just don’t want to encourage you. I’ve already got one wise-ass to deal with.”

Clint grinned, “You say wise-ass, Nat, I say genius.”

“And that’s why I use you as practice for the newbies.”

 

They finished training early that afternoon, Natasha happy enough with her progress after attacking Clint, so Alex headed to the kitchen after her shower in desperate need of caffeine. Nat had talked her into a drink, and as soon as Clint heard it had turned into a whole Avengers Tower party, so Alex wanted to at least be fully awake for it.

She could already smell fresh coffee wafting down the hall, grateful that Bucky had beaten her to it when she saw him pour out a mug for himself. Hearing her come in, Bucky looked up, “You want one?”

“Yes please,” she grinned, hopping up onto a bar stool.

Sliding the mug across the counter to Alex, Bucky leant against the worktop opposite her, watching as she took a sip, humming at the warmth. “Good?”

“Great.”

They both stayed quiet for a moment, but when Alex lifted the mug again to take another drink, Bucky couldn’t help but notice the bruising on her hand. He swallowed, “Did I do that?” he asked tentatively, catching Alex off-guard.

When she realised what he meant, she dropped her hand below the counter so he couldn’t see it. “It’s fine – doesn’t even hurt anymore. One of the many benefits of being able to heal yourself quickly,” she smiled a little, but Bucky’s expression didn’t change.

He placed his mug down on the counter and walked over to where she sat. Carefully, he took her injured hand in his, slowly inching back the long sleeve of her sweater that covered where the fading yellow bruises reached to just past her wrist. Alex watched his face as he lightly trailed his fingers over the harsh marks.

“I hurt you,” he said in a small voice, eyes large and sorrowful.

“You didn’t mean to,” Alex took his hand in hers, pulling the sleeve back down quickly.

Bucky shook his head, “That doesn’t make it okay, Alex, I gave you those bruises!”

“Not on purpose,” she said vehemently, “Bucky, you weren’t you last night. You were scared.”

“And I hurt you!”

“And I kind of hurt you back,” Alex chuckled, “Remember – arm around your neck?”

He gave an almost imperceptible smile, “That didn’t hurt.”

“Well, if you’re gonna complain, next time I won’t hold back.”

This time Bucky actually laughed, “Thank you.”

Alex drank down the rest of her coffee, “I assume Clint’s told you about tonight?”

“He ran around saying ‘party, party, party’ but nothing specific,” he smirked.

Alex laughed, imagining Clint’s childlike excitement, “Well, top floor at 8, Stark’s providing the booze. I realise that neither of us can get drunk, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take full advantage of a billionaire’s open bar.” She hopped off the stool, heading to the door.

“In that case, I’ll see you there.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

So, the party turned out to be less of a get-together and more of a… well, a _party._ Stark had taken it upon himself to invite more people than Alex could count as she walked into the room and though everyone looked to be having a good time she couldn’t help but think that getting the guests to leave would pose more of a challenge.

Weaving her way through the crowd, Alex walked over to the bar, in search of anyone she recognised. Thankfully, she saw Steve in the corner nursing a drink, and he waved her over, seeming just as happy to see a familiar face as she was. It took a while to reach him, weaving in and out of the other guests, but it was worth it for neither of them to be sat alone.

“You seem to be enjoying yourself,” Alex laughed, signalling the bartender for one of whatever Steve had in front of him.

“Let’s just say I’m thankful you got here when you did,” the captain sipped at his drink.

Alex looked up to see a blonde woman over the other side, glaring at her. She looked vaguely familiar, but as far as Alex knew she hadn’t done anything to her to warrant this withering gaze. “Steve, who is that?” She gestured to the woman who quickly averted her eyes when Steve looked over.

“The blonde?” he questioned, “Sharon – she’s Peggy’s niece.”

“Your Peggy?” Alex asked, regretting it when she saw a sadness in Steve’s eyes, “What did I do to her?”

“What?”

“She was looking at me like I’d run over her puppy or something.”

Steve looked confused, “She doesn’t know you.”

“Even so, she doesn’t seem to like me.”

He laughed at Alex’s befuddlement, “I’m sure that’s not true,” he slung an arm around her neck much like an older brother would.

It was then, as Steve looked away that she caught Sharon’s eye again. And suddenly it all made sense, her gaze seemed to linger on the captain’s arm still around Alex’s neck – it wasn’t that she didn’t like Alex, it was that she obviously thought something was going on between she and Steve. “You should go talk to her.”

“About you?”

“No, about you,” She slapped the arm still around her neck playfully. “I bet you two have a lot in common.”

He withdrew his arm, dropping his head into his hands, “Aw, not you too!” Came the muffled reply. “Romanoff’s already trying to set me up.”

“I’m not trying to set you up, just go talk to her,” Alex nudged his arm, “You might even enjoy yourself.” Steve groaned, burying his face further into his hands, “Oh, come on! I’m not asking you to marry her, Steve. Look, if you’re not having fun in ten minutes you can come back, and at least you’ll have made a friend.”

“Fine! But I’ll be back.”

“Okay, Arnie,” she chuckled, “It’s from--”

“I know,” he mumbled, walking away through the crowd.

Alex sipped her drink, discreetly looking across the bar to where Steve awkwardly approached Sharon. “You know how long I’ve been trying to get him to talk to women?”

Bucky slid into Steve’s vacant seat, catching Alex by surprise, “Sometimes it takes a woman’s touch, James.” Alex put on a mock posh accent, swirling her drink around the glass.

“Wow, it’s weird when you call me James,” he grimaced, throwing back the remainder of Steve’s abandoned drink before ordering another.

Alex smirked, “I might start doing it more, _James_.”

“Stop, please, it’s too painful!” He groaned dramatically, “But remember, two can play at that game, _Alexis_.”

“Good thing I can heal, because that was like a physical wound.”

“Let’s make a deal – no full names, ever.”

“I’ll drink to that,” They clinked their glasses together, “Cheers.”

The evening went on and Alex and Bucky chatted away, while keeping a watchful eye on Steve and Sharon like proud parents whose child was all grown up. “Who is she?” Bucky asked finally.

“Sharon? Apparently she’s Peggy’s niece.”

“As in Peggy Carter?”

“Yeah.”

Bucky frowned, “Isn’t that kind of weird? I mean, Peggy was kind of Steve’s girl.”

“I don’t know,” Alex sighed with a shrug, “But he seems happy, so who are we to say anything?”

“I guess you’re right,” he smiled at her, before grabbing her hand, “So, come on, let’s stop spying and enjoy the party.”

Before Alex could object, Bucky had dragged her out of her seat and out into the centre of the party where everyone was dancing. If anything, it seemed like there was more people here than before – a tell-tale sign that Pepper was away from the tower. But, Bucky kept a tight grip on her hand so he didn’t lose her, keeping her as close as he could. Soon they were right in the heart of the chaos, the music playing loudly as Alex and Bucky were jostled around by the rest of the dancing guests.

He took this moment, standing with Alex in the eye of the storm, to really look at Alex, the way he hadn’t gotten the chance to for so long – not when she was looking the other way, or asleep, but when he could see her looking back.

“I’m not ready to give up on us.”

“What?!” Alex shouted, “I can’t hear you properly over the music!”

“I said you look really nice!” He recovered, thinking that this place probably wasn’t best to have that discussion. And though the lighting was low, he could still see how she blushed at the compliment.

The track changed to something slower, and though Alex was glad of the quiet, they were now left with some kind of awkward high-school slow-dance scenario. _Well, we may as well make the best of it._

“May I have this dance, Mr Barnes?” She gave an over dramatic curtsey, holding out her hand.

“Well, as this is the one kind of dancing I know, Miss Lockhart, you may.”

He put his right hand in her left, lifting it to the back of his neck, where her other hand soon joined it, his own settling on her lower back. They were close, closer than they’d consciously been in weeks – but neither of them said a word – just swaying along with the rhythm, lost in their own little world.

_‘I’m not ready to give up on us…’_

That’s what Bucky said – Alex heard him – but she couldn’t let him know that, she wasn’t ready to have that conversation yet.

 

The party began to die down and soon there was only a few agents and tower residents left. Steve lingered by the elevator when Sharon announced that she was leaving, blushing as she kissed his cheek before leaving. As he walked over, sitting down next to her on the couch, Alex couldn’t help but smirk, “I’d hate to say I told you so, but…”

“Shut up,” he shoved her playfully, beaming. Bucky’s attention was taken by Clint and Tony arguing whether Iron Man could beat Bucky arm wrestling and Alex could tell that the captain wanted to keep it that way.

“Clearly there’s only one way to settle this!” Tony exclaimed, rushing off while Clint roared with laughter at the chaos he had caused.

Moments later, Tony returned, left hand encased in his glove, kneeling down at the opposite end of the table to Bucky, “Come on, one-armed bandit, let’s settle this.”

Bucky looked between Tony and Clint, cocking his brow as if to ask if they were serious. By this point, the rest of the room had gone quiet, all eyes on the impending contest. Without a word Bucky linked their hands together, the clash of metal on metal causing their audience to lean back involuntarily. Alex looked to Steve and though it was clear he wanted to intervene, he like everyone else wanted to see what the outcome would be.

Clint shuffled in between the competitors, acting as a referee, “Right gentleman, I want a good clean match – no spitting, no biting and nothing below the belt.”

“Barton, you’ve seen arm wrestling before, right?”

“Yeah, but I’ve also seen Stark arm wrestle – trust me, those are restrictions that need to be there.” Clint eyed Tony, who simply shrugged, “Ready? Set? Go!”

There was something a little unnerving about the sound of metal clanking and Bucky’s arm recalibrating – if they didn’t know better it would seem as though something more sinister was afoot. Both men seemed remarkably cool to start with, but soon Tony began to break into a sweat, his glove feeling the pressure of Bucky’s hand as well.

Almost ten minutes went by with the room in near-silence, before Bucky managed to pin his opponent’s hand to the table’s surface. It was miracle that neither of then broke anything – furniture, bones or otherwise.

After that, Tony didn’t seem too much in the party spirit, obviously having hoped for a different outcome to their match – ever the one to want to be able to gloat. So, everyone decided that was enough for one night and piled into the lift. The doors opened for Bucky and Alex and he walked out first, but before Alex could follow on, Steve grabbed her arm, “There’s a meeting tomorrow at 8am – you need to be there – but you can’t mention anything about it to Bucky,” he spoke quickly in a hushed tone.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, that’s just the message I got. But I’ve got a bad feeling he’s the subject.”

Steve let go of Alex’s arm and the elevator doors closed before she had the chance to ask him anything else. “Are you okay?” Bucky stood, concerned about the sudden change in Alex as she stood there shell-shocked.

“Yeah,” she recovered quickly, smiling at him. “Just tired.”

He eyed her, a little wary, “Okay…”

“I think I’m gonna turn in.”

“Goodnight, Alex.”

“Night Bucky,” She walked over to him, kissing his cheek quickly, in an effort to distract herself and him, “And congrats on the win.”

As she closed the bedroom door behind her, Alex prayed that Steve was wrong about this meeting.


	4. Chapter 4

It turned out keeping the meeting from Bucky was harder than Alex had imagined – the guy rose with the sun, so he was already up as she tried to sneak out.

"You're up early," he commented as she headed towards the elevator.

Alex stopped in her tracks, "Yeah, Natasha wanted to train a little earlier today – she's busy later," she replied, perhaps a little too quickly.

Bucky just nodded, seeming just a little suspicious but obviously choosing not to pry into her business. Alex had to admit she was glad as she didn't have another lie in her – it was _way_ too early for that. Steve had sent her a cryptic message about where the meeting was being held, and by the time Alex found them, she was late. Which unfortunately didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the attendees, all eyes settling on her as she walked through the door. Around the table sat Steve, Tony, Natasha and Clint, and the man who stood in front of them was someone Alex didn't recognise. She'd assumed, when Steve told her about this meeting, that Fury would be their host.

"Miss Lockhart, nice of you to join us." The man gave her a curt nod.

"I'm sorry, who are you?" _And how do you know who I am?_ she wanted to add, as she walked over and slid into the only vacant seat, at the left of Steve who sat at the head of the table, with Clint on her other side.

The man simply smiled, not losing his composure, "General Thaddeus Ross, it's my job to make sure we all come to an understanding about the matter at hand. Which is-"

"Wait a second – where's Fury?"

At this she saw Ross' calm façade slip just a little, "Director Fury's no longer in charge here, Miss Lockhart. Now, if I may?" Alex nodded, all eyes returning to the general, who continued, "I've gathered you all here today for a number of reasons. Primarily our continued discussion of the Sokovia Accord."

"That country that kind of exploded?" Alex asked, vaguely remembering seeing something about it on the news before she was reunited with Bucky.

"The country that this team _destroyed_ , leaving thousands of Sokovian refugees without a home."

"To save the rest of the world!" Steve snapped, the atmosphere around the table tensed as though this was an especially sore point all round.

Ross looked squarely at Steve, "Regardless, Captain, someone needs to be held accountable."

"Ultron, maybe?" Clint shrugged.

"With all due respect, we can't blame this whole thing on a robot. A robot created by members of your team no less."

"So, it's Stark's responsibility?"

"Hey! Banner worked on Ultron too, Barton."

"He's not here."

"If you're gonna try to blame this on our team, I might look to the government that sanctioned the team in the first place." Steve mumbled, his head resting on his hand.

Ross decided to cut in before a full fight could break out, "It's not about placing blame," looking around at the rest of the team, it was clear that nobody actually believed that, "It's about putting some rules and boundaries in place to make sure the public are protected from any repercussions that this team and others' actions may cause."

Silence fell as everyone eyed the weighty 'Sokovia Accord' that sat in the centre of the table, like the decision that now hung over every Avenger's head. "All I need you to do, all of you, is sign. Once you have, others will follow."

Everyone, it seemed, had retreated into their own thoughts, as weighing up the pros and cons of signing away their anonymity. It was Steve who was the first to speak up, "When I was a kid, this was the 'Land of the Free', and I fought to keep it that way. But it's pretty clear that's no longer the case."

"I'm not going through this again, Captain." _So, this is what he meant by 'continued discussion'_. If anything, the atmosphere became even thicker with tension.

Alex decided to step in, for her benefit if nothing else, "I get the feeling you're treading old ground here, so I'd like to interject, if I may?" Sighing, the general nodded, "I wasn't part of the team during the whole Sokovia/Ultron thing, so why am I here?"

"Because you fell for the wrong guy."

Alex's lips tightened, "My personal life has absolutely nothing to do with you, General." She could feel her face heating up as their exchange drew the attention of the others around the table.

"It does when your boyfriend's actions leave over a dozen agents dead," rather more brusque than Fury, Ross' military background was clear. Although Alex was at least minutely happy to see the general losing his cool, "After what Barnes did alongside Crossbones, I've got a lot of angry people on my ass."

Natasha stood from her seat, speaking for the first time, "Clint and I have things to do, so we'll leave you guys to it." Whether she did it for her benefit, or to avoid further discussion of the accord, Alex was grateful all the same that it meant there would be less of an audience for whatever was about to occur.

The absence of the agents left only her, Steve and Tony with the general, and she had the feeling that Tony was here only to enjoy the drama of the situation. "Bucky was brainwashed!" Steve exclaimed the moment the door clicked shut behind Clint and Natasha.

"Some would argue that it was an act," the general spoke calmly, his expression bland, as though he was void of all emotion. The opposite of Steve and Alex who erupted with anger.

"What?!"

"He could barely remember who he was when I found him!" Alex bit back.

"Well, those same people aren't likely to take the word of his best friend and girlfriend on that."

Seething at the accusations being cast Bucky's way, Steve and Alex decided that their best course of action was to stay quiet, before either of them said something that they would later regret. However, it was Tony who unintentionally poked the hornet's nest.

"Rogers, come on! When you found him in that Hydra facility with Alex, you said he remembered you."

The captain looked to his teammate with hard eyes, "He hadn't been wiped for a month at least, that's plenty of time for his memories to start coming back!"

"Or maybe they were always there!" Stark snapped, as though praying for Steve to see reason, "We don't have any proof that Hydra brainwashed him – for all we know it could just be some kind of coping mechanism your boy's got to separate himself from what he's done."

"That's bullshit."

"Quite a mouth you've got on you, Cap. I touch a nerve?"

Deciding against another argument, Steve turned his attention back to Ross. "You've still got Rumlow – he was working for Pierce – why not ask him if Bucky was brainwashed?"

"We did, Captain. He told us he was never present for any kind of mind wipe."

Alex's brows shot up, "And you're just gonna believe him?"

Tony seemed surprised at the pair's unyielding defence for their friend, "First we should ask Rumlow, then we shouldn't believe him. Do either of you actually have any proof?"

Exchanging a glance, Alex and Steve found that they had nothing so solid that it couldn't be distorted to make Bucky seem like a villain.

_You don't know him like I do._

It was the single thought that passed through both of their minds.

"Well then," the general moved to bring the topic to a close, "The council will take into account your objections, and a decision will be made of what action to take with regards to Mr Barnes."

And just like that, the 'meeting' was over. As were the hopes for Bucky's second chance.

 

"He won't survive this, Alex."

She and Steve sat in the kitchen on the 54th floor, safe in the knowledge that Bucky was still doing his day's training – ever the soldier, he stuck to a regimented schedule.

"We don't know that."

"Really?" Steve's brows shot up incredulously, "You were in that meeting – the best result we can hope for is they lock him away. It's the only result that doesn't end with him being killed."

Alex sighed, knowing Steve was right – it was clear how the general felt about Bucky and she knew that there wouldn't be a happy ending if Ross had anything to say about it. "There's got to be something we can do."

"There is something…" He kept his eyes on the coffee mug in his hands.

"What?"

"Make him disappear."

Alex looked at the captain warily, "We're not talking 'disappear' in a mob sense, right?"

He shook his head with a smile, "Fly under the radar, create him a new identity and get him as far away from S.H.I.E.L.D. as possible."

"Where would he go? He's got a metal arm, Steve, it's gonna raise some questions."

"Well, what do you suggest?!"

"I don't know!" Alex sighed, exasperated, dropping her head into her hands. "Maybe we should just tell Bucky now – he might have a better plan," she said wearily.

"Tell me what?"

Both Steve and Alex turned quickly to see Bucky in the doorway, a look of concern on his face. "What's going on?"

Alex looked to the captain, but he just cocked his head towards the door, "I'll tell him." She stood up, as did Steve, but he leant in and spoke quietly to her, "Don't go too far – he's probably gonna need you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting into Civil War territory, so things are going to start heating up and not just between Steve and Tony ;)


	5. Chapter 5

Alex decided that she’d retire to her room while Steve spoke to Bucky and though there was a few sounds of breaking and shouting at the start, after a while they quietened down and she hoped that they were coming up with a plan that was better than sending Bucky away. Eventually there was a knock at her door, and when she rushed to it, Steve stood the other side.

“How was it?”

He sighed, “Well, he wasn’t exactly thrilled, but we talked it out.”

“And?”

“We’re gonna see how it plays out, fight each battle as it comes.” Steve smiled but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Right now, I think he just needs you to be there for him.”

Alex nodded, then hugged Steve tightly, “Thank you.”

 

Walking into the lounge, Alex saw the broken glass on the floor, and Bucky sat on the couch, his thousand-yard stare making her heart ache. She approached with a certain amount of trepidation, though Steve seemed fine, but there was no telling exactly how Bucky was going to react given what he’d just found out.

He didn’t move, not even slightly, when she sat down next to him on the couch, and Alex didn’t know whether this was a good or bad thing. He was breathing deeply, though a little shaky and uneven, reflecting not only his exertion, but his current state of mind.

“I know asking how you are might not be the best place to start, but how are you?”

He didn’t answer, just turned to glance at her for a moment before turning away again. He wasn’t going to answer and if Alex was honest she was kind of glad – there weren’t many comforting words she could offer him right now, no one knew how this thing with the council was going to play out.

So, instead of trying to comfort him with words, Alex simply took his hand in hers, holding on tightly. He’d talk when he was ready and she’d be here when he did.

“Steve said they’re gonna come for me.”

“We don’t know anything for sure.”

“Alex, come on!” his head snapped around, but his eyes were wide and anxious. “You and I both know that there’s not one outcome here where I get to walk free.”

Bucky shifted his body to face her, grasping both of her hands, “There’s no outcome here where I get to stay with you.”

Alex blinked, feeling the prick of tears in her eyes. She tried to think of something to say, but nothing seemed right, nothing felt like anything that either of them could believe, no matter how desperately they wanted to. Her hands slipped out of his, and she reached up to cup his face, bringing his forehead to rest against hers. Bucky’s eyes closed at the contact, “No matter what happens, we’re gonna get through this together.”

He let out a shaky breath at her words, and after that everything happened much faster. Bucky brought his lips crashing down on hers. It was cathartic for both of them, a release of emotions that neither one of them had wanted to face.

It was so long since they’d been together like this, but it was like riding a bike, so easy to pick up again. The fact of that almost worried Alex, being so close to Bucky when there was a possibility that he would be taken away again. But right now it didn’t matter. Right now she was caught up in the feeling of his lips on hers, his hands tangling in her hair and the fact her heart was beating so loudly she couldn’t hear the voice in her head telling her that this was a bad idea.

Alex couldn’t stop herself from grasping at the hem of Bucky’s shirt, her hands briefly slipping beneath the fabric and finding the warmth of his skin. Every so often she would find a scar, and her exploration would slow so she could feel her way along the broken skin, as though trying to memorise every inch of him, imperfections and all.

Pulling the shirt off over Bucky’s head, their lips parting only for a moment, Alex’s fingertips found the seam on his back of where metal joined flesh. He murmured a little, a weak protest, and it still surprised her that he would be so conscious of his arm around her. But, nevertheless, it didn’t break Bucky’s focus, arms clutching her to his chest, groaning for a moment, disappointed that they weren’t skin on skin. He remedied that quickly, tossing Alex’s shirt to one side.

It suddenly occurred to Alex that they were still on the couch, surrounded by broken furniture and glass, and that perhaps they should move to somewhere a little less dangerous. Pulling away, she had to smile at the sudden look of disappointment on Bucky’s face as she stood, he looked like a little kid who’d just been told he wasn’t getting any candy after all. She held out a hand to him and tentatively he took it, brow furrowed just a little as to where she was going with this.

Alex turned away, pulling Bucky behind her and into the hall, leading him towards her room. But it was at the other end, and desperate to be near her again, Bucky tugged her swiftly into his own room, shutting the door behind them. He lifted her up, Alex’s legs wrapping around him, and Bucky was suddenly glad in this moment that due to Alex’s enhanced healing factor, he didn’t have to worry about being too gentle.

They barely broke apart for the rest of the evening, Bucky not wanting to be parted from Alex, and she him. Their clothes were gone in the blink of an eye, the time passing, dark to light, in a mix of sighs and moans. It was as though they were back where it all started, and Alex felt like this was the beginning of another chapter for them, but Bucky knew different.

 

The light of dawn began to filter through the window illuminating Alex’s sleeping features, her head resting on Bucky’s chest, her arm wrapped around his waist. Bucky lay there, wide awake. He couldn’t sleep, and he didn’t want to. They’d only got so much time left, and he didn’t want to miss a second.

Gently, he reached up and tucking a stray strand of hair behind Alex’s ear, wanting nothing to obstruct his view of her. Looking at the clock by his bed, he saw the time was 6:15am. He had to go soon, he knew that, but like a child on a school morning he just wanted five more minutes. Five more minutes of being with Alex. Five more minutes when he was happy and in love. Five minutes when it seemed like he could have a future.

But, just like with any early start, five more minutes would just make getting up even more difficult.

Very carefully he lifted Alex’s arm, so he could slip from beneath it without disturbing her sleep. This would be much easier for both of them if he could just slip away. Silently, he gathered together the essentials he was likely to need, glancing over every so often to check that Alex was still sleeping. Placing his bag by the door, Bucky walked quietly back to the bed. He’d considered leaving Alex a note to explain where he’d gone and why, but anything like that would just drag her further into this and he was doing this to keep her safe. So, instead, he bent down and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

“I love you, Alex,” he whispered, “I always will.”

Getting up again, he put his bag on his shoulder and walked out, taking one last look at Alex’s sleeping form, wrapped up in his sheets.

He stepped into the elevator, Steve waiting inside for him, a bag on his own back. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, looking to Bucky with concern.

“If you’ve got any other ideas, I’m all ears.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter than normal, but hopefully you guys still enjoy it! Don't forget to comment, I love hearing from everyone :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it's been so long, I've been without internet for a month :( But, I've got it back now so here's the next chapter - enjoy!

Alex stretched, a smile playing on her lips as she remembered the previous night. Opening her eyes, she was greeted with the sight of Bucky’s room, but as she reached out for him, she found only cold bedsheets. Sitting up quickly, she scanned the room. “Bucky?”

There was no reply.

“Bucky?”

Still nothing. She stood, keeping the sheet wrapped around her as she began to search the apartment. “Bucky?” she tried again, but it was quickly becoming apparent that she was alone here. _Maybe he’s gone to work out, or to get groceries or something._ Going back into his room, she looked around for anything that might give her a clue to where he was. There were only a few things missing, his jacket, cap, the gun he kept in his bedside table – the essentials. He’d gone. He’d left again, and without even a message to say where he’d gone.

She didn’t know whether she was more angry or upset – was this what Steve meant by fighting each battle as it came? Did he even know that this was Bucky’s plan?

At that she knew that her anger was more prominent, and quickly she changed, before storming to Steve’s room, banging on door. “Steve, open up I need to talk to you!”

After about five minutes of her pounding on the wood of the door, Sam stuck his head out the door of his room, “Alex, you’re great and everything, but if you don’t stop making that noise I will have to hurt you,” he yawned.

“Where’s Steve?”

“I don’t know, obviously not in there otherwise he’d have answered,” Alex huffed a little and Sam stood up a little straighter, rubbing his eyes. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“Bucky’s gone. I wanted to know whether he knew anything about it.”

Sam shrugged, “I can’t help you, but I’ll ask around and--”

“No, don’t,” Alex cut him off, “I don’t know why they’ve gone, but I have a feeling no one’s meant to know, so right now, we keep this between us, okay?” He nodded, seeming a little confused, but taking Alex at her word. “I’ll call you if I find anything.”

 

 

Alex stepped into the elevator, absentmindedly pressing one of the buttons, not caring where it took her, just needing time to think. She couldn’t believe that the two of them had come up with this plan – two supersoldiers and the best thing they could come up with was running away? If the stupidity of their plan didn’t make Alex angry enough, the fact that they’d both allowed her to think that they were going to do this by the book. Surely, running away meant that any chance Bucky had of getting out of this alive was completely lost. Running would make him more of an enemy to SHIELD now than he already was. Him and Steve.

The doors of elevator slid open and Clint stepped inside, “Morning,” he smiled, but Alex was too lost in thought to answer. “Alex?”

She snapped out of it at the sound of her name, “What?”

“You okay?” he answered, seeming concerned. She hummed a response, not knowing what to say. “That meeting was a little intense, huh?”

“Yeah.”

Clint shuffled, leaning back against the elevator wall, “That Sokovia thing…you think you’ll sign?”

She shrugged, still focused on trying to work out where Steve and Bucky would be. “Everyone’s got someone they care about outside the team. It’s not just signing away our anonymity; it’s signing away theirs.”

Thinking about that, something suddenly struck Alex. Pressing the button for the next floor, Alex rushed out, saying a passing goodbye to Clint as she left.

Heading to the stairwell she took the steps two at a time to reach her destination quicker – if she’d got the floor number right, in was only four levels above where she was now. Thankful for her supersoldier fitness, she reached the floor in minutes, without feeling even a little out of breath. Quickly she walked toward the door she’d been looking for, knocking heavily on the wood.

After a couple of minutes, the door swung open and a sharply-dressed Sharon Carter stood looking expectantly at her early morning visitor.

“Where are they?” Alex asked without so much as a ‘hello’.

“Good morning to you too, Lockhart,” Sharon rolled her eyes. “How can I help you?”

“Bucky and Steve, where are they?”

Looking down, she pulled out her phone, typing something in, Alex getting angrier by the second at being ignored. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” But, as she spoke, Sharon lifted her screen up to show Alex that she’d actually written, _SHIELD is always listening_.

Their eyes met, and she had a feeling Sharon knew exactly what was happening, and Alex adjusted her tone accordingly. “I can’t get a hold of either of them, so I was just wondering whether you had any clue where they were.”

Again she was typing as Alex spoke, “I don’t know.”

_They’re going off the radar. It’s the only way to keep Bucky safe._

“Well, I know you and Steve are close, so if you do hear anything – give me a call.”

“Of course,” Their faux-casual tones were beginning to grate, especially as Sharon rarely made eye contact, typing her messages quickly – _They’re staying in my old apartment tonight, but tomorrow they’ll be gone_. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure I’ll find them.”

_I’ll meet you in the parking lot in five._

“I’ll see you around Alex.”

“Agent Carter.”

With a curt nod, Sharon shut the door, and Alex proceeded to the lower level parking lot to wait. It had been a little over five minutes when she heard footsteps in the lot’s eerie silence.

“I’m sorry about that,” Sharon said as they came face to face. “It’s better if we keep this on a need to know basis.”

Alex nodded, “I get it, I just can’t believe they’d be this stupid. But, now I know where they’re hiding, I’m going to fix this before it gets out of hand.”

She went to leave, but Sharon caught her arm, “Alex, wait a second. This is so much more than General Ross told you guys. Barnes is on SHIELD’s blacklist – the only result they care about is having him killed.”

“What?”

“I overheard one of the meetings – the next mission they sent him on, they’d make it look like an accident. All this ‘council decision’ bullshit – it’s all for show. That way no one suspects anything.”

Alex stared at her in a stunned silence as suddenly everything seemed to make more sense, “So there’s no way he can come back.”

Sharon shook her head, “There’s too many people here that want him gone. And they’ll do anything to make that happen.”

“So running away…it really is the best option he has?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Okay,” Alex felt tears prick at her eyes, backing away to her car.

Sharon stayed still, “Good luck, Alex.”

Swiftly she climbed into the driver’s seat before she fell apart, resting her head on the wheel, sobbing heavily. But, she only allowed herself to cry for a short time, before putting her game face on. She needed to get to them.

 

Alex wasn’t exactly sure how many people lived in the building, if anyone at all, but she moved through as quietly as possible so as not to alert anyone who might have been there. When she finally reached the apartment number that Sharon had given her, she took a deep breath.

Knocking the door three times, she heard shuffling come from inside. The door was opened, and immediately a gun was pointed at her face. Lifting her hands up to show she was unarmed, Bucky gradually lowered the gun realising who was there, “That’s quite the welcome,” Alex muttered, and Bucky dragged her inside quickly, Steve looking up and down the hall to be sure she wasn’t followed.

“Alex, what are you doing here?” He asked, annoyance evident in his voice.

“What am I doing here? That’s a little rich.”

“You know why we’re here!”

“I didn’t know the full story and I’d have rather heard it from one of you, preferably you” she pointed at Bucky, “Before you skipped out this morning!”

Bucky sighed heavily, lips pursing tightly, “Never mind that, how did you find us?”

She looked to Steve, who stood behind Bucky, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, “Do you want to tell him, or shall I?”

“What’s she talking about?”

The two men locked eyes, and Steve sighed, “Sharon knew.”

“What part of disappearing do you not understand?!”

“This is her apartment – I had to get the key from her! She’s not going to tell anyone.”

Bucky looked at his friend incredulously, “She already did!”

“It’s Alex! She, doesn’t count!” Alex’s brows shot up, and Steve tried to backtrack, “I didn’t mean it like that. In my defence, you said you’d tell her!”

“Ladies, if you’re quite finished,” Alex cut in before the cat fight could start, “I’d really like to know what the plan is here.”

The three of them stood, as though they’d reached some kind of stalemate, no one wanted to be the first to talk. In the end, it was Bucky who broke the silence. “Steve, could you excuse us for a second?” He didn’t wait for a reply before dragging Alex through the nearest door, which happened to lead to the bedroom.

“Bucky, what--”

“Sit down, shut up and listen, Alex. You wanted to know what’s happening, and I’m going to tell you.”

She sat down on the bed, Bucky stood before her. He looked nervous, but she couldn’t blame him. “I know me leaving like I did was far from ideal,” she scoffed at that, but allowed him to continue. “But we’ve had to say goodbye so many times, Alex. And every time’s been more painful than the last. So just one time, the last time, I wanted to leave you with… I don’t know, something good.”

“So, waking up alone, with nothing telling me where you’d gone or why was meant to be ‘something good’?”

He sat beside her, but kept looking forward, “I’m not good at this stuff, I never have been.”

“What stuff?”

“Love.” At this he looked her in the eye, “All I could see was something else that was going to get you hurt because of me. And I won’t let that happen.”

To Bucky’s surprise, Alex actually began to laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” she continued to chuckle, “It’s just – how many times do we have to go through this? You don’t get to decide what’s best for me, Bucky. I’m a lot tougher now than I ever have been – and I mean that literally.”

He looked to her with big, sad eyes, and opened his mouth to say something, but Alex quickly covered his mouth. “You might not like this, but I’ve been with you since the beginning, and I’m gonna be with you till the end. That’s how this works.”

Bucky’s expression didn’t seem to change, and Alex eyed him a little warily. “I’m gonna take away my hand now, we’re going back in there and you’re not going to fight me on this. And I swear to god, if I wake up tomorrow and you’re not there, SHIELD won’t be the only one hunting you down.”

Slowly, Alex took her hand away, waiting for some kind of outburst from him. But it never came. Instead, Bucky simply took her hand and stood up from the bed, pulling her up with him. “Come on, then.” He smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve, Bucky and Alex had been sat there for hours, trying to figure out the best plan of attack, “You can’t just keep running forever, this is SHIELD we’re talking about, no matter where you go they’ll find you. There’s nowhere they can’t reach.”

“If we don’t run, and they find Bucky,” Steve sighed, looking between Alex and his friend, “I don’t what they’ll do.”

“I do,” Alex murmured, her eyes dropping, as the two men in front of her narrowed their gaze, urging her to continue, “Sharon told me.”

They both sat forward, as though she was divulging a secret, “What?” Bucky asked, and Alex’s lips tightened, like she was forcing the words to stay in her mouth, “Alex, what did she tell you?”

She was quiet a little while longer, before letting out a deep sigh, “If they find you…they’ll…um,” She couldn’t say it, even the thought of it gave her an ache in her chest, “They’ll…kill you.”

Silence.

For at least five minutes, Alex could’ve sworn that neither of them moved, their eyes fixed on her, then the ground, then her again – no doubt their minds were moving a mile a minute, but they didn’t make a sound. It was actually beginning to make her uncomfortable.

“I get that this is a shock, but can one of you say something? Please. The silence is starting to scare me.”

“This doesn’t change anything,” Bucky mumbled, running a hand through his hair, “We’re still leaving, it’s the only option we have now. If SHIELD want me, they’ll have to catch me.”

He stood, pacing the floor, as Steve finally decided to speak up. “There has to be some way to change their mind, they said that it would be a council decision.”

“They lied, Steve!” Bucky snapped, halting his steps, “That’s what they do!”

Alex sat quietly as she watched both of the men process the news in different ways – Steve was quiet, as usual, no doubt making changes to their plans in his head, anything to keep Bucky safe, he’d do anything. But as for Bucky, he was angry, she could see it radiate through every inch of him – his fists were tight, his shoulders tense – right now, in this moment, he was the soldier. And perhaps that would be a good thing.

There was a knock on the door, and every eye shot to the wood, before looking between each other. Steve gave a nod and Alex walked to the door, he and Bucky moving silently behind her, guns in hand ready for whoever or whatever was outside. She paused, ensuring that they were ready before she swung the door open.

“Woah,” Sharon threw her hands up, and the three inside let out a collective sigh of relief. She walked inside, and Alex couldn’t help but note a difference in her arrival.

“How come she wasn’t dragged inside?”

“Because Sharon’s an agent, she’s trained to know if she’s being followed. Plus, this is her apartment, it’s not suspicious for her to be here,” Steve explained, and though Alex pouted, she didn’t take it further. She knew he was right, but he didn’t have to be so blunt about it.

Bucky was in no mood for this, their escape was becoming more and more populated – hell, if anyone else came, they might as well just invite SHIELD round for dinner. “What’s she doing here?” he directed the question at Steve, as though he was the only other person in the room.

“ _She_ ,” Sharon gave him her best withering stare, though it didn’t affect Bucky in the slightest, “is here because she needs to talk to you all.”

She gathered the three of them, making them sit on the couch. They knew that this couldn’t be good news, but frankly, after hearing SHIELD’s plans for Bucky, it couldn’t get much worse unless they’d all been blacklisted. Alex felt herself pale at the thought of it, praying that Sharon had different news.

“They’ve moved up the signing of the Sokovia Accord to tomorrow,” she spoke calmly, looking to Steve, “Obviously the signing only affects you and Alex, but it means your plans with Bucky will have to be put on hold – you don’t turn up, General Ross will know something’s wrong and you’re putting him at more risk.”

“Can you stop talking like I’m not here?” Bucky mumbled from the other end of the couch.

Sharon glanced at him before continuing, “Neither of you can do anything to rock the boat, everything needs to seem like any other day. You just go in, sign the accord, and leave.”

“And if we don’t want to sign?” Alex asked, looking between Steve and Sharon. She had no intention of signing that accord, she hadn’t even been in Sokovia, but she was still having to sign away her anonymity and more than that, her freedom. That’s all she needed, more people knowing that she could heal, maybe she should just invite over the attackers and the weirdoes over now and get it over with – she could probably start her own freakshow.

“That’s really not an option, as far as ‘not rocking the boat’ goes,” Sharon folded her arms, “I know it’s not ideal – god knows I don’t want to sign it, but refusing would be more trouble than it’s worth.”

“So we just give up?” Alex looked at her incredulously, “Why don’t we give them Bucky as well while we’re at it? For the sake of not causing a fuss.”

“We’re not arguing about this, Alex,” Steve tried to diffuse the situation, to little avail. Everyone was quiet, but the tension was palpable.

Bucky leaned over to Alex, speaking lowly into her ear, “I think we should give them a moment,” he took her hand, standing up, “Excuse us for a moment.”

Dragging her into the bedroom, Bucky closed the door, sensing that Sharon and Steve needed some time to talk. He knew that Steve didn’t want to sign either, but if it was going to disrupt their other plans he wasn’t sure which way he would go. Alex was pretty clear about not wanting to sign, and he admired her for that, she wasn’t one to stand for something she didn’t believe and she wanted to protect people and signing the accord was going to jeopardise that.

“I can’t do it,” she said quietly, sitting down on the bed. “But I want to keep you safe.”

He crouched in front of her, cupping her face, “I don’t want you to give in because of me, this is important to you, I know that. If you don’t want to sign, don’t do it.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be okay,” he gave her a tight smile, “ _We’ll_ be okay. I promise.”

 

Alex and Steve returned to the tower the next morning, after having made sure that Bucky would stay put and not slip away while they were gone. Even now neither of them were entirely sure he would be there when they got back, but they had to trust him – like Sharon had said, they couldn’t afford to not turn up for this signing.

Heading towards the room where the meeting was being held, they rounded the corner and bumped into Sam who was waiting outside. “Where have you guys been?”

“Woke up late.”

“Slipped my mind.”

Sam narrowed his eyes at their more than obvious lies, looking between the two. “…okay. Alex, did you manage to find Bucky?”

“Nope, no idea where he is,” she said, perhaps a little too quickly, “Shall we go in?”

Both she and Steve went for the door, but Sam blocked their path, grabbing the door handle. “You guys are probably the worst liars in the world. What’s going on?”

Alex looked to Steve, not wanting to say the wrong thing herself, “I’ll tell you after,” the captain murmured, pushing the door open.

To say that the atmosphere in the room was tense would’ve been an understatement. No one said a word, all eyeing the accord that sat on a table in the centre of the room. Never had one piece of paper commanded so much attention. In front of them all, General Ross stood, stoic as ever.

“You’ve all had time to consider your position on this accord, and I would hope that you’ve all come to the right decision.”

Alex scoffed quietly at his choice of words – ‘right’ decision. Who was he to decide what was best? He didn’t even have to sign it.

Tony stood from his seat, stretching, “Well, let’s get this over with, I’m sure we’ve all got places to be.” He signed quickly and turned, offering the pen. Not one person moved, swapping glances, as though trying to persuade anyone else to sign next. “Rogers?”

All eyes went to Steve, who looked uncomfortable at being singled out, jaw clenching as he glared at Tony. He looked to Alex for a moment and she worried he might be about to suggest she go first, but he quickly turned to face Tony again, allowing her to breathe a sigh of relief.

“No,” he said simply, and Tony’s hand dropped to his side, “I’m not signing.”

“Captain Rogers, I don’t think you realise the implications of not signing this accord,” the general walked toward Steve, but the captain simply stood straighter.

“Oh, but I do, General. If this accord is enacted, we lose any control we have. New York’s attacked again and we have to have your _permission_ to help? And when we help we’ve got to foot the bill? We’re not all billionaires here,” he briefly glanced at Tony, before turning his attention back to the man in front of him. “And as for anonymity we have now, that’s gonna be gone. Why don’t we just stand in the middle of Times Square right now and invite the bad guys over? Maybe they’ll appreciate our openness!”

The general stood stunned by Steve’s outburst, but it wasn’t over yet. “So, yes, I understand what refusing to sign means – that’s _why_ I’m not doing it. And I’m going to take the little bit of freedom I have left, and walk away – and anyone else who doesn’t want to be a part of this is welcome to come with me.”

“Always the stick in the mud, Rogers,” Tony sighed, sidling up beside the General, “This isn’t your time anymore, we can’t afford to be moving forward with old-fashioned attitudes.”

Steve smirked, “Well, your modern attitudes didn’t exactly do a lot for us. Or for the people of Sokovia.”

“Sometimes I want to punch you in your perfect teeth.”

“Captain Rogers, if you leave here without signing that accord, I’ll have to assume that you’re no longer a part of this team. If you don’t stand with us, Rogers, you stand against us.”

“If that’s the decision I’m forced to make, General, then I guess I’m against you.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I've had a pretty busy week - went to the London Civil War premiere (oh god, they're all even more super attractive in real life :3) then I went to the midnight showing of the movie. IT'S SO AWESOME I CAN'T EVEN. I won't be following the same route as the movie though, so you won't have to worry about spoilers or anything :)


	8. Chapter 8

“I can get you ten minutes, but you guys need to be gone. They’ll be coming after you,” Sharon spoke quickly and precisely, instructing them as to how they needed to act now. “Stay off the main roads, watch your backs and get as far away from here as you can. Not signing this accord, but continuing to protect Bucky, it’s not going to go down well. So just, y’know, don’t do anything stupid.”

Alex tightened her grip on Bucky’s hand, which he returned in an effort to calm them both. They’d met with Sharon away from the SHIELD compound, feeling more like fugitives than ever as she handed them their things from the trunk of her car. But, as they waited, the door of Sharon’s car opened and the three of them froze, imagining it was all over before they’d even begun.

“It’s nice to see you guys, too,” Sam smiled at the sight of their stunned faces. When none of them made a move, he gestured to the door. “Maybe I should just get back in the car.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Alex walked over to him, giving him a tight hug, “It’s great to see you.”

“But you know what this means, right?” Steve looked at him seriously

Sam gave a solemn nod, “I said it before, man. I’m more of a soldier than a spy, and more than that I’m your friend, so I’m on your side. Whatever the consequences may be.”

That was all that needed to be said, it was the reason all of them were where they were today, bonded by friendship, they hoped that this would make their team stronger. God knows, they didn’t have the numbers on their side. As it was, Sharon was on her way back to SHIELD to claim she had no idea where any of them were. It made Alex smile a little to know that an organisation like SHIELD didn’t know that they had a double agent in their ranks. Whether Sharon saw it that way or not, was a different matter, but however she wanted to think of it, there was no other way to describe what she was doing.

“Thank you for this,” Steve smiled at Sharon, and before the rest of them knew what was happening, the captain and their saviour had locked lips. Alex’s face lit up, and looking between Sam and Bucky, she saw the pride on their faces. Steve waved Sharon off as she got back into the car, and as he turned back to his friends, he was met with some wide eyes and raised brows.

“What?” he blushed, clearly not understanding their reactions.

Alex was the first to speak, beaming at him, “How long has _that_ been going on, Cap?”

“Me and Sharon?”

“No, the financial crisis,” Sam quipped, “Yes – you and little miss agent.”

He blushed even harder, “We got to talking, after Peggy… And it turns out we’ve got a lot in common.”

“I bet you have,” Alex laughed.

Steve cleared his throat, “Are we all forgetting that SHIELD is trying to hunt us down?”

Ushering them all back into the car like a parent corralling their children, Steve took back his role as leader, preparing for the undoubtedly awkward journey that would follow. Where they were going, none of them really knew, but they had to go now. Steve and Sam sat up front, leaving Bucky and Alex in the back, provided they didn’t do any ‘gross couple stuff’ as Sam had so delicately put it.

Alex watched as the scenery passed by, concrete to greenery, populated to barren, Bucky’s hand in hers, keeping her anchored in the moment. He couldn’t help but feel guilty as he watched her looking out – this was what he was trying to avoid by leaving her that morning. He didn’t want her to be dragged into this mess, to be running with him, running away again from everything she’d grown accustomed to. It seemed that this was some kind of running theme in their lives – Alex would become comfortable in her circumstances, she’d grow into a new person, gain new friends, and settle into her new life – and just like that, Bucky would come along with another one of his problems and she would be forced to uproot herself again. And yes, she said every time that she wanted to protect him, that she’d run every time if it meant he was safe, but it still didn’t stop Bucky from having his one recurring dream. A dream that Alex would someday be able to have a normal life, free from these problems that constrained him – and if that life was with him, he’d be the happiest man in the world, but if it wasn’t, he’d be happy all the same. Because he loved her, and her happiness meant more to him than his own.

So once again he squeezed her hand, as if trying to convey the depth of his attachment through just a simple touch, and she turned from the window, a small smile hanging on her lips as she sandwiched his hand in her own. Bucky leaned over a little, his lips brushing her forehead, as his free hand pulled her closer.

“Hey – what did I say?” Sam said quickly, eyeing them in the mirror, causing Bucky to pull back a little to eye the man in front for ruining their moment.

Alex chuckled, the animosity between Sam and Bucky never failed to bring a smile to her lips. It was like watching two kids fight over who was Steve’s friend first. Nevertheless, Bucky’s hand remained tightly clasped in Alex’s hands as they pulled up outside a large, seemingly abandoned building.

“Well, here we are,” Steve murmured, cutting the engine, leaving them all sat in silence for a moment.

All of their eyes went from Steve to the building and back and forth again, “But where is here?” Bucky asked.

 

It turned out that ‘here’ was an abandoned factory building that SHIELD had owned for a number of years but never done anything with. The fact that this was the case was something that seemed odd to them all, yet they couldn’t afford to question it. Any moment now, SHIELD would begin their search, having noticed that they were all missing. Steve’s cellphone rang, and he excused himself to answer it, his three companions were left alone to adjust to their new surroundings. Barely furnished, and starkly decorated, it wasn’t exactly the most welcoming or comforting of venues, but for hiding out from a government agency, it would probably be fine.

“So…” Sam began, hands coming to rest on his hips as he took in the room around them.

Alex and Bucky followed suit, their eyes taking in each detail of the barren shell of a building they stood in, neither one of them knowing what to say. They had no clue what to do next.

Luckily, they didn’t have to stand there in silence for long, as soon their fearless leader returned. “Sharon?” Alex asked.

He shook his head, “Natasha.”

“What’d she want?”

“Basically telling us what we already know – we don’t hand Bucky over, SHIELD’s coming after us,” Steve sighed, sitting down on a table that stood against the wall. “General Ross, he’s put Stark in charge of bringing us in. He’s building his side; we should start building ours. It’s us versus them in this, and I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t plan on going quietly.”

The sudden declaration left an uneasy feeling in the atmosphere, friends to enemies in a blink of an eye, the divide in their team was becoming all too clear. “Just for the sake of knowing where we’re at, who’s with Tony?” Alex asked, curious to know exactly what they would be up against.

“Natasha, Rhodey, the Vision--”

“The Vision? Who the hell’s the Vision?” she cut in, at the mention of the unfamiliar name.

Sam turned to her, “You know Tony had Jarvis?”

“Yeah?”

“Ultron tried to make a human body, he put in a mind stone, and Tony put in Jarvis. That who the Vision is.”

“Oh…kay…”

Steve waited for a moment, and when it was clear that Alex had nothing else to say he continued, “Natasha, Rhodey, the Vision, and the King of Wakanda who’s calling himself the Black Panther.”

“Black Panther?”

“Yeah. And trust me, I’ve seen him, dude’s got a hell of a lot more power than the name suggests. Seriously, it’s terrifying.” Sam nodded enthusiastically.

“So, us four against them,” Bucky brought back the point at hand.

Steve nodded, “I’d like to say we had this, but just because the numbers are even, doesn’t mean that this fight will be.”

“Then what are we gonna do?”

Steve smirked a little, glancing at Sam, “Call for back up.”

 

A van pulled up outside of the building as night fell, and Steve walked out to meet it, as the others stood in the doorway. The door on the driver’s side swung open, and Alex couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her. “Clint’s the back up?”

“Hey!” Clint threw his hands up, “I’ll have you know, I would be more than enough. But, it just so happens that I bought a couple of extras.”

Sliding open the van’s side door, the group watched as a woman, around the same age as Alex stepped out, pulling a red coat tighter around her to counter the chill in the air. “Wanda, this is Alex and Bucky. Guys, this is Wanda Maximoff.”

Alex vaguely remembered hearing her name in the news about Sokovia – the Scarlet Witch, she was powerful. Clearly, Steve and Sam had already been acquainted with her, and they shared friendly smiles as Wanda took her place standing by Clint.

“I thought you said ‘a couple’,” Bucky mumbled.

“Oh, he’s in there,” Clint banged on the side of the van, and they heard a grumble from inside, “Get your ass up, Lang.”

“I’m coming,” he moaned, stumbling out into the open, “Dammit Barton, why am I awake if it’s dark?”

It seemed that only then he realised that they weren’t alone, eyes coming to settle on Steve, “You’re Captain America. Wow. It’s an honour,” he grabbed Steve’s hand, shaking it, and continuing to shake it, “I’m shaking your hand too long. This is awesome.” He said, finally letting go.

“Nice to meet you…”

“Scott. Scott Lang.”

Steve nodded, before moving everyone inside, Bucky and Alex last at the door. Bucky stopped, and Alex turned to him to see anxiety etched on his features, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I’m not worth this. Everything you guys are giving up.”

She grabbed his hand, pulling him closer to her so she could push the strands of hair, that had fell over his face, behind his ear, “I know you think this is all because of you, Bucky, but this is so much bigger now. It’s about making a choice, deciding what we believe in, right or wrong. Right now, this little team of ours – we’re choosing freedom. Freedom for you, freedom for us.”

Bucky gave a half-hearted chuckle, “So, what? We’re ‘Team Freedom’?”

Alex shook her head with a grin, “We’re Team Cap.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, apologies for the hiatus, I was finishing off my second year in university - but, that's done now so I can get back to the story :D We're about four or five chapters from the end now and it's going to get more exciting (hopefully XD)


	9. Chapter 9

Tony had sat for what felt like a millennium as Ross droned on about the importance of finding Steve and his band of merry men and bringing them back – he’d already agreed, what more did he want? Blood?

“Are you even listening, Stark?”

“Yes, sir. I mean – what?”

Ross sighed heavily, clearly unimpressed that the one person on his side was the unreliable maverick of the team. He’d have given anything for a soldier right now, to take orders without issue, but the billionaire was no such man. However, the circumstances that they were in right now, he didn’t really have much choice – he had to take what he could get.

“Look, this is all very interesting General, well… it’s not, but whatever. So, what is it you actually want from me?”

“I want you to find Rogers and Barnes and bring them back here,” the General stood straighter, heading for the door, before turning back to Tony, “You’ve got 24 hours, Stark. After that, I’m sending my team in and we’re doing this my way.”

Tony’s eyes were downcast as he considered the position he now found himself in. Rogers was his friend, and now, because of some stupid bureaucracy they were essentially enemies – he was the predator, and Rogers and Barnes were his prey. He didn’t know how to feel, but for the sake of doing what he believed was right here, he’d do what he had to.

“You ready for this?” Natasha’s voice came from the doorway.

Tony stood, “Out of everyone, I didn’t expect you to be the one who stayed.”

“I know where I am, Stark. I’ve made my choice.”

“Yeah, well, let’s just hope it’s the right one.”

 

“What do we do now?” Clint asked, eyeing Steve, as they all sat waiting for the plan to be finalised. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying hanging out with you guys…in this…whatever this place is, but I’ve got a family to get back to at some point.”

Steve huffed out a sigh, combing his hand through his hair in frustration, “I’ve got an idea, but I don’t think you guys are gonna like it.” Six sets of confused eyes fell on him, everybody wondering what was going to be worse than this. “Ross doesn’t believe that Hydra was behind Bucky’s attacks, right?”

Sam nodded somewhat hesitantly, “Yeah…”

“Well, there’s only one way we can prove it,” Steve took a deep breath, “We go to Moscow, to the Hydra facility where Bucky was kept.”

“How? As far as I’m aware, Sam’s the only one of us with wings, and it’s a pretty long way to drive,” Alex cocked a brow at Steve.

“That’s where it gets a little more complicated. We’re gonna need one of SHIELD’s aircrafts.”

There was silence for a moment as the fact sunk in. Alex was the first to speak, “Oh good, I thought you were going to say it was something difficult,” she deadpanned, “But stealing a plane from SHIELD should be no problem.”

The captain rolled his eyes, at her attitude, but he knew that this was a big ask of them. They’d gotten out of SHIELD, only to go straight back. “I know it might seem impossible, but I think there’s enough of us to be able to do this.”

Alex’s eyes went to Bucky next to her, noticing that he’d become more withdrawn, some unknown emotion behind his eyes. She was about to ask him what was wrong when Steve spoke up again, standing up, every inch the Captain ready to lead his team. “Tomorrow, we’ll leave early--”

He cut off as Bucky stormed from the room, out of the back door, leaving it to slam in the silence, the rest of the team looking at it, stunned by the sudden movement. Steve went to leave after him, but Alex stopped him with a hand on his chest, “I’ll go, you need to be here.” He gave a curt nod, and she slipped out after Bucky.

Outside the sun was setting, casting an amber glow on the surrounding forest, and as Alex looked around for Bucky she spotted him sitting on the ground, back propped up against the side of the building squinting in the sun. She approached him slowly, before dropping down beside him – he didn’t look at her, but kept his eyes on the tree tops and the way the light filtered through them.

“I don’t know if I can go back, Alex,” his voice was small, and as she turned to him, she saw that his eyes were wide and glistening. “I don’t think I can be there again.”

He’d turned to her now, and there was only one way to describe the way he looked at this moment – he looked scared. His bottom lip quivered a little as his jaw tightened. Alex shuffled around to face him, “You can talk to me about it, you know.”

His brow furrowed, gaze dropping to the ground, “That place…that’s where they made me into this. They changed me…and I don’t want that to happen again.”

Alex grabbed his face in her hands, forcing him to look back to her, “Bucky, nothing is going to happen to you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” She spoke slowly, making sure he heard every word.

“But, what if it does?”

“It won’t.”

He stood up quickly, pacing in front of her, “Alex, they made me into a monster! I have just got back to finally feeling like I could be the guy that you guys think I am, and I love that. I love finally being able to feel like the guy you see when you look at me, the guy that makes you happy and the person that wants to spend the rest of his life with you. But they took all that away from me once, and they could do it again – and all this,” he gestured between the two of them, “Everything we have, would be _gone_. Just like that.”

Incensed, Alex got to her feet, cutting him off from pacing any further. “Bucky – how many times do we have to do this. I love you! No matter what!” she pushed her dark hair back from her face in exasperation, “Even if – and that’s a really big ‘if’ – something does happen to you, if they take your memories again, I will still be here. Because this is it – me and you – _this_ is what I want. And even if we have to start all over again, I’ll be _right here_.”

She moved closer to him, looking up into his eyes, “Everything is gonna be fine. I promise.”

Bucky cupped her face in his hands, leaning his forehead against hers, eyes squeezed shut, “You make me happier than I can ever remember being. And I know that’s not saying much,” he gave a half-hearted chuckle, “But, it’s true. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Alex tilted her head back a little, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. Her fingers combed through the hair at the nape of his neck, as his hands gripped her waist tightly, both of them locked in the slow searing kiss – their closeness made Bucky feel safe, and Alex knew that he needed that right now, and so did she. Pulling away, their foreheads rested against each other again, “I love you too,” Alex whispered, “And we’re gonna get through this.”

She felt Bucky nod ever so slightly, and as she went to return inside, Bucky grasped her hand. “Wait a second.” He let go of her hand, and Alex remained stood in front of him, as he took a chain from around his neck, “In case anything does happen to me, I want you to have these.”

He put the chain over her head, and Alex looked down to see that it was his dog tags that Bucky was giving to her. “I trust you to be the one to bring me back, Alex. But in case you can’t--” Alex went to interrupt him, but he held up a hand to stop her, “Please, just let me say this. In case you can’t bring me back, I want you to have these, so they’ll always be a piece of me with you even if I can’t be.”

Hand clasping tightly around the cool metal, all Alex could do was look at the man in front of her, eyes filling up as they stood in silence.

“It’s kinda corny, I know, but--”

“Thank you,” Alex’s voice was weak with unshed tears and she swallowed to try and regain some of its strength, “Thank you for giving them to me.”

Bucky smiled, reaching out to brush away a stray tear that fell onto her cheek, “No better place for them to be than with my best girl.”

They stood in silence for a moment, before the door opened behind them, Clint stepping out and looking around for a moment before he spotted them. “Hey, Cap’s about to get into the details for tomorrow – you two should probably get in here.”

“We’ll be right in,” Bucky nodded, giving Alex a chance to wipe her eyes whilst her back was still to the archer, who simply nodded, stepping back inside.

Linking his hand with hers, Bucky turned Alex around again, both of them walking together back into the building where all eyes looked on, wanting to ask what had happened, but none having the courage to. Steve simply nodded in their direction, and continued on.

“Let’s not go into this tomorrow thinking that everything will work out, because that doesn’t happen,” he stood straighter, the soldier once again, “We have to plan for every eventuality – if something goes wrong, we need to know exactly what to do next. This team only works if we all work together.”

They may not have all been soldiers before this moment, but they were soldiers now. Fighting for a common goal, it bonded them together – the team they were now, it was different to the team they had been a part of before. There was so much more to lose; they were against their friends, their family, no one wanted anyone hurt. But the risk was high, and that they knew.

“We leave here before dawn, it’s an hour’s drive to the airfield. We’ll leave the van tucked into the tree line, and continue into the compound on foot – Bucky and I will take the lead, Wanda and Scott will follow behind – Sam, you’ll wait for my word and then--”

“Guy in the sky, I know.”

“Alex, Clint, you two will circle around to the back of the airfield – it’s your job to make sure that aircraft is ready to leave when we are.” Bucky’s hand squeezed Alex’s hand a little tighter at the knowledge that they would be separated.

Steve paused, taking a moment to look at the team around him, “You guys should get some rest, we’re gonna need her strength for tomorrow.”

He only hoped that they would be able to make it.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

An eerie calm settled over Alex the closer they got to the airfield, as though she had completely accepted the fact that there was a high chance that she wouldn’t get out of this. It wasn’t that she thought she was going to be killed, but their main objective here was to get Steve and Bucky on that plane and that meant it was likely that the others would be taken into SHIELD’s custody. They couldn’t exactly let them go, this little team she found herself on, there were essentially outlaws now. They had to expect to be treated as such.

The journey was somewhat less comfortable than they were used to, all packed into Clint’s van, the seven of them, shoulder to shoulder in silence, readying themselves to put their plan into action. When they reached half a mile from the airfield, Clint pulled over, managing to conceal the vehicle within the thick brush of the trees that lined the road. Steve and Clint climbed from the cab, the others slipping out of the side doors, before moving further into the trees, coming together in something of a huddle to await further instruction.

Alex watched as, by the treeline, Bucky spoke to Steve quietly. The captain’s eyes flicked from Bucky to her and back to his friend again, a small amount of paranoia settling in – _were they talking about her?_ She hoped that Bucky wasn’t going through his usual routine of trying to persuade Steve to not let her go with them, if anything, this was the time to let that go.

She saw Steve nod, and both of them walked back towards the group. When they reached the huddle, Bucky sidled up beside Alex, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Shouldn’t I stay to hear what’s happening?”

“Clint will fill you in later,” he said, taking her hand in his, and moving them out of earshot of the rest of the group, moving her to stand in front of him. “Don’t worry, this won’t take long. I just…I needed to say it before we had to split up.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, but I need you to do me a favour, please let me get this out before you start talking. Anything could happen today and I might not make it out of this, whether it’s prison or death. But, I want you to know right now, how much I love you and how happy you’ve made me,” Bucky smiled, his fingertips brushing along her knuckles as he held her hand, “And I would go through what Hydra did to me time and time again if it meant that I still got to love you at the end of everything. So… I might not have anything to give you, but I need to ask all the same, because I might not get the chance later.”

Alex’s mouth fell open as Bucky dropped to his knee, smiling brightly up at her, “Alex Lockhart, I can’t promise you that this will be easy, but I can promise that I will love you until the day that I die. And if you’d do me the honour, I’d very much like to marry you.” She stood, too stunned to reply, eyes filling, “So, will you? Marry me?”

“Yes,” she whispered, grinning as a stray tear fell onto her cheek, “Of course I will!”

Bucky stood, grasping her around the waist in a tight hug, spinning her around as he beamed with joy. He put her back down, before taking her face in his hands and kissing her hard. They broke apart when they heard clapping behind them, turning to find that the group’s attention was very much on them, each member wearing a grin.

“Congratulations,” Steve smiled, beckoning them back over, “Now, let’s go do this, so you two can actually have a wedding.”

 

Alex and Clint walked side by side, along the edge of the thick tree line, spying the airfield in the distance. “Steve said we’d know when it was our time to go, so I guess we just wait here until that happens.”

“Am I the only one who feels like they didn’t want us in this?” she asked with a smirk.

“I got a family, I happy right where I am. And I suppose you’d be kind of a distraction for the last Howling Commando out there.” Alex gave him a confused glance, “My kids like the exhibit.”

The sounds of the fight could be heard from where they stood, watching as allies fought on the ground and in the sky – Steve’s shield flying between the action, light from Tony’s thrusters catching on the metal finish. They saw as the Vision shot a beam that hit Rhodes, knocking him from the sky, and Alex’s heart sank, seeing what was potentially the first of many of this fight’s casualties. But, the most shocking of all of this battle’s sights, was seeing Scott sprout up suddenly to gargantuan size, swatting their opponents from the air like flies.

Looking to Clint, she saw that he too was slack-jawed, “I guess that’s our queue…” she spoke slowly, and saw him give a small nod, before they began to move towards the airfield, trying to stay out of direct sight – which wasn’t easy, with eyes in the skies and only open space between them and their destination. They ran, feet cutting quickly through the grass as they moved as fast as they could to the small fire door at the back of the building. Though there was no handle on the outside, between them they managed to force their way inside. Clint went before Alex, knowing which aircraft Steve wanted, and she followed closely behind in the darkened hangar, the sounds of the fight outside seeming so much louder now, they could hear the grunts and shouts of each individual team member as though they were in the hangar with them.

“This way,” Clint hurried her along in a hushed tone, leading her to the plane at the very end of the hangar, it was smaller than the others, but would be perfect to take Steve and Bucky where they needed to go. He pulled the handle down, which allowed him to pull open the side door of the craft.

He beckoned Alex inside, but she shook her head, “You go do what you need to, get this ready, and I’ll keep watch. Make sure no one gets in here before Steve and Bucky.”

Suddenly the walls seem to shake as the hangar door was broken, knocked aside as Scott’s giant form fell to the ground, his legs caught somehow. A man in a full body suit seemed to run rings around Bucky – quite literally, as Steve fought his way to his friend. She struggled to make out all of what was happening through the debris, eyes dancing back and forth, from one end of the airfield to the other, trying to keep eyes on every team member. She and Clint had been told the day before that, no matter what, they weren’t to move from their place in the hangar – there’s was ‘an important job for the success of the mission’ – or at least those were Steve’s words, ever ready to instruct them as soldiers, the only way he knew how to lead them.

Just as she was beginning to worry that no one would make it, Alex spotted, Steve, arm around Bucky like a crutch, hurrying towards where she stood, the man she could only assume was the ‘Black Panther’ gaining on them. She made a move to help them, to stop him, when she saw something hit him with a small flash – Natasha stepped out from behind one of the other aircrafts, and for a moment it seemed that it was all over, but Alex saw her angle her head back, moving them on. They paused for a moment, as if not quite believing her, before Steve began to move, his grip still on Bucky, urging him onward.

“They’re here!” Alex called out, alerting Clint to their teammates’ arrival, him rushing out to meet Steve and Bucky as they made it to the door.

Clint guided Steve inside to quickly talk him through the controls, Bucky hanging on for a moment outside, leaning a little on the door to regain his strength. “Are you okay?” Alex asked, cupping his face to bring his attention to her.

He nodded, with a small smile, “Can’t fight without taking a few hits.”

The captain came back to the door, Clint at his side, “We should go.”

Bucky looked back to Alex, with a hint of doubt in his eyes, and she reached up to place a kiss on his forehead. “You can do this.”

Stepping back, Clint closed the door from the outside, slapping the side twice to let Steve know that they were good to go. The archer pulled Alex away from the aircraft as it began to lift from the ground, and together the two of them watched it leave.

SHIELD agents surrounded the team from all sides, intent on bringing them in, but they knew that with Steve and Bucky on their way, it was only a matter of time before everything began to right itself again.


	11. Chapter 11

There was water dripping at the side of Alex’s cell. It was as though it were there to count down the seconds, minutes, and hours, they were left to wait, with no news of Steve and Bucky. Looks were exchanged between the teammates in their cells, helped by the circular shape of their underwater prison. _Someone’s been watching too much James Bond,_ Alex thought, watching as the doors slid open to reveal Tony.

The atmosphere seemed to change, it was colder than ever. Tony’s presence bought with it the reminder that the team had no clue whether Steve and Bucky were safe and well and that, for the most part, was the fault of the man in front of them. No one said and word, and when it became clear that no one planned to, Tony ended the silence. “Look, I know I’m public enemy number one right here, but someone needs to talk.”

“And why would we do that?” Alex asked, refusing to look Tony in the eye as he paced his way around the cells.

“Well, for starters, you just did. The other thing, Alex, is that if you don’t tell me where Cap took your boy toy, then it’ll be Ross who goes looking for them. He’s not going to be nearly as nice – I’ll be honest, most of his plans involve killing them,” Tony gave a small shrug, “He’s not a happy guy.”

“How do we know that you’re not going to do the same, Stark?” Sam spoke up from his cell on the other side of the room.

Tony turned, “You don’t. But seriously, do you think I would?”

“I’m not sure what you’d do anymore. None of us thought you’d sign the accord, but you did.” It was Clint’s turn to voice his concerns.

Something changed in Tony’s expression, “I saw something. It was the reason I made Ultron, it caused everything,” he turned towards Wanda, who sat quietly, eyes cast down, “And it was because of her.”

Clint stood sharply, like a father protecting his child, “Hey, don’t blame your own shortcoming’s on Wanda. _You_ thought the world needed protecting, _you_ decided to build an AI, you don’t get to put that on her. She’s lost just as much as anyone here.”

“You’re not understanding me, Barton. That vision is the reason I signed the accord. I made the wrong decision because she showed me what I feared the most. And that decision almost destroyed the world. We shouldn’t have that kind of power, and that’s what the accord is trying to stop from happening again.”

“Okay, so you feel bad, and you think signing away your freedom is a good thing. And it might be – _for you_. That little speech does nothing to show us that you’re not going after Steve and Bucky for the same reasons that Ross is.” Alex turned her back on Tony, “And it does _nothing_ to make us trust you again.”

But, it struck a nerve in Tony – he didn’t like being made to feel like the bad guy. “You’re risking prison for your boyfriend, Alex. You think that makes you any more capable to make those kinds of decisions? You were given the kind of ability most of us wish for – and you’re wasting it!”

“I didn’t ask for this!” she turned quickly to face the mechanic again, “I didn’t want to be involved in this life, I didn’t want these abilities. For as long as I can remember I just wanted a normal life. I wanted my mom and dad back - I wanted to feel loved, like I had a family again.”

Alex sat down, “Then I met Bucky. And he was alone, just like me,” she looked Tony in the eye, “He’s my family now. I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep him safe and I’m not looking for anyone’s permission to do that. If that means SHIELD want to put me away – then fine. If it keeps my family safe, I’ll take it.”

Silence fell in the room, and once again, Alex could hear the dripping of water, counting away their sentence.

“Come with me,” Tony said, the sudden admission bringing Alex’s attention sharply back to him.

“What?”

“You don’t trust me to keep your boys alive? Come with me.”

“You don’t know where they are.”

“No, I don’t. But you do.”

She watched Tony’s face carefully, as though a slight twitch might give away his intentions. Of course she knew where Steve and Bucky were going, but telling Tony could go one of two ways – he could help them bring the truth about Hydra back to SHIELD, or he could lead SHIELD right to them. Was it a risk she was willing to take?

 

“So this is the place, huh?” Steve looked at the metal doors, almost covered by the snow. It was a wonder anything survived this climate, let alone his best friend. He understood the need for the ‘soldier’ now, the need Hydra had for someone who would venture into the frozen desolate landscape without question, who would not only survive, but thrive in a place where so many perished.

Looking to Bucky, Steve could see that his gaze was as cold as the wind that nipped at them, “Yeah,” he mumbled, eyes firmly fixed on the door. “This is it.”

As they pulled open the heavy steel door together, Steve could see that the inside was no more welcoming than its exterior. Rusting metal seemed to covered all of the walls, dark and dingy, the windowless rooms would’ve made it impossible to know when the sun rose and when it set. The thought of the endless days that Bucky would’ve suffered here pained Steve more than he could’ve ever imagined. But for Bucky, the all-too familiar surroundings just caused anger to bubble up within him. These people had taken everything from him, they made him call this hole his home. Hydra ruined his life once and they were set to do it again, and yet they still stood as the organisation that they had always been. It made him sick to his stomach.

It almost seemed ridiculous to Bucky now. All the time he’d spent running from Hydra, all the time he’d fought them to regain something of the man he used to be. And now he was right back where he started, right back in the jaws of Hydra – only this time, he’d brought his best friend with him. Like a selfish asshole.

And yes, this place was deserted, but there was always some little part of Hydra lingering around, and therefore, neither of them could let down their guard for even a second lest Hydra get the jump on them. So, they stayed flush against the wall as they moved through the base, one door to the next, through seemingly endless corridors until they reached what they had been looking for. This room was darker than the others – or at least it seemed to be. The base was one of the oldest in Hydra’s records, and therefore the files they had weren’t in a system, not part of some greater network. Instead, the walls were lined by locked cabinets full of files. The single computer in the room was dusty and password-protected, and frankly, neither of the supersoldiers had the skills to get in there – so, for them, it would be rooting through the massive number of files. Bucky set about looking for anything on the ‘Winter Soldier’, but Steve, he chose to look for ‘James Buchanan Barnes’ in the hope that Hydra had at least a little humanity.

A creak of a door behind them caused both of the soldiers to spin around, weapons raised.

“Captain? You seem a little defensive.”

Steve lowered his weapon at the sight of Tony, but Bucky refused to take down his guard. For all they knew this could be a trap.

“Well, it’s been a long day,” Steve sighed, a tiredness beginning to show itself in his eyes.

They stood for a while, in a stalemate, none of the men sure what their next move should be. But the sound of more footsteps behind Tony, brought Steve and Bucky’s guns up again. “Look, Stark, you wanted me to come with you. Guess what? That means you don’t fly off and let me go into the scary deserted Hydra lab alone.”

The sound of Alex’s grumbling caused Bucky’s gun to drop limply to his side. She rounded the corner, stepping inside the room, only to stop still at the sight of the standoff. “Don’t tell me you’re on his side now,” Bucky mumbled in disbelief.

“She’s not.”

“I’m _really_ not,” Alex smiled, “I came to make sure he didn’t kill anyone.”

“Question is, Captain,” Tony cut in, “What exactly did you come here for?”

“Proof,” he brandished a file in the air, “No one believed that Bucky was brainwashed by Hydra, so we came to find proof.”

Bucky’s eyes flicked quickly between Alex and Tony, unsure of exactly what was happening when Tony began to clap his hands. “Searching for files, Rogers? You should’ve told me sooner,” he cracked his knuckles as he approached the dusty computer in the corner, turning it on.

The other three in the room watched Stark do his thing, furrowed brows at his sudden change of heart. Maybe it was just the prospect of hacking an organisation like Hydra’s files. It was like offering a child the biggest ice cream in the world. His fingers tapped away at the keys like lightening, until they didn’t. All of a sudden he just…stopped. Alex moved a little closer, trying to see what it was on the screen – it looked like a video, but before she could get close enough, Steve grasped her arm, shaking his head almost imperceptibly.

Tony’s eyes were glassy as the three of them waited for an explanation.

“Did you know?” He looked to Steve, who stepped protectively in front of Bucky. Opening his mouth as though to try and explain, Tony cut him off, “Did you know?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long guys, I've just started a writing internship so they've had me very busy. But, here's the latest installment for you - enjoy! :D


	12. Chapter 12

"I'm only gonna ask you one more time, Rogers," Tony stepped toward Steve, eyes hard, a stray tear escaping them, "Did you know?"

"Know what?" Alex looked between the two men, "Is anyone gonna tell me what this is about?"

Tony's gaze remained on the captain, "Why don't you see for yourself?"

Alex stepped through the standoff, towards the dusty old computer that seemed to be playing the same video over and over again. It began with a car crash, which was shocking enough – but when a motorbike pulled up beside it, Alex felt her mouth gape. It was Bucky, he looked exactly as he did now, though the video's timestamp put the footage in 1990. He approached the car, and though she couldn't see too much of what he was doing, it was easy to guess – especially given Tony's reaction.

"Is this what I think it is?" She asked quietly, back still turned to the men behind her.

"That depends," Tony spat with venom, "Do you think it's footage of your boyfriend killing my parents? If so, yeah. That's exactly what this is."

Alex turned around slowly to find that none of the men had moved, except Bucky, who had moved a little further behind Steve, eyes downcast, clearly ashamed of his actions under the control of Hydra. He couldn't or wouldn't look her in the eye, and Alex could understand why. His past wasn't some far-off thing anymore – it was real, and it was close to home.

"I had my suspicions," Steve finally answered Tony's question. "But I didn't know for sure until right now."

"And you're still gonna protect him?"

"He didn't have a choice."

"Bullshit!" He looked directly at Bucky, "You killed them in cold blood. Do you even remember them?"

Bucky's jaw tightened, his eyes large and sad, "I remember them all."

That simple admission broke Alex's heart. Some part of her had always thought that the Winter Soldier part of Bucky would forever be locked away, and the memories of what he done would be locked away with it. But the thought that Bucky had been dealing with these memories alone gave her an ache in her chest. She didn't know when these memories had started coming back to him, but however long it had been, there was a part of Alex that was angry that he hadn't confided in her.

But, before she could say anything, Tony knocked Steve and Bucky to the floor in his grief. Alex stepped in front of him, to try to stop him moving toward the supersoldiers, but he simply gripped her arm and pushed her to one side. "Stay out of this, Alex."

"No – Tony, this isn't going to help. Hurting them, it won't bring your parents back!" She desperately tried to plead with him as he walked with purpose towards the people he'd once called friends. "Please! Please don't do this!"

Tony whirled around to face her again, "I've told you to stay out of this already, Alex. Don't make me do it again. I don't want to hurt you."

"Then don't hurt them," she eyed him carefully.

But, instead of listening to her, the genius simply huffed and set towards the soldiers again, who had now got to their feet. The punches came thick and fast, and Alex couldn't tell who was getting the worst of it – Tony's suit helped him in some way, but even then he was still fighting off two men who had been genetically enhanced for exactly this purpose. All she could do was stand back and watch as the men fought each other, trying desperately to figure out some way to stop them.

"You need to stop!" she yelled, her voice echoing off the metallic walls. "I – ah… Oh, I'm pregnant!"

The fight stopped as quickly as it had begun, and the men turned to look at her, wide-eyed. None more than Bucky, whose saucer-sized eyes were paired with a slackened jaw. "Really?" he asked, voice just louder than a whisper.

"Well…no, but I needed you guys to stop and-"

And just like that it was as though she hadn't said anything at all. The fighting began anew, Alex knew that there was only one way to stop this, and that was to get in between the two parties and try again to reason with them. Or just hit them all until they started to listen. Whichever was easier.

However, this was something that she almost immediately regretted, as when she stepped between the men, she was first grabbed by Bucky's metal arm, dragging her backwards out of the way. From behind him, she did her best to try and get through again, only to find that between punches (both given and received) Bucky was pushing her backwards so she wouldn't be able to intervene.

But, when Tony struck Bucky so hard that he dropped to the floor, Alex had her window. Not that it went exactly as planned – as when Steve dodged an oncoming hit from Tony, the stray fist collided with Alex's shoulder and the force behind it threw her from the ledge they'd been fighting by. She didn't see how Bucky grabbed for her, or how Steve and Tony paused – she saw only the grey of the clouded sky as she fell through the frozen air. It felt as though ice was being forced into her lungs, and, unable to catch her breath, Alex was plunged into darkness.

Bucky climbed to his feet and threw with metal fist at Tony as many times as he could before the genius was able to point one of his thrusters in the soldier's face, pushing him backwards. In tandem, Steve and Bucky fought off the billionaire, knocking him to the ground, but Tony found he had the upper hand, tripping both of the soldiers, dropping them both to their backs. Quickly he pinned Bucky, and pressing down on him, Tony was able to detach the metal arm, leaving only jagged metal and exposed wires where it had once been.

Before he could do any more, Tony was pulled away by Steve, who threw down his shield onto the suit's arc reactor until it cracked, the light fading and powering down Tony's armour. When he was sure that Tony was too tired to get back up and fight, Steve stood, helping Bucky to his feet, wrapping his good arm around his shoulders.

"That shield doesn't belong to you," Tony said weakly, "It belonged to my father."

Steve was too tired for fighting. He was tired of being the man they all expected him to be. Right now, he wasn't the Captain America he was before. Right now, he was Steve Rogers, and Steve Rogers didn't want the shield. So, he just dropped it. On the floor next to where Tony lay, the thing that had once been so much a part of Steve's identity, sat apart.

It took a while for Steve and Bucky to make it outside, however fast the latter tried to move to get to Alex, they were both still recovering. But, once they reached the large door outside and spotted Alex's form buried in the snow, Bucky found the strength to pull away from his best friend, stumbling through the heavy snow and dropping to her side. There was blood staining the icy ground around her, from where though he couldn't quite be sure. Neither of them knew what the extent of her injuries would be, but with the heightened ability to heal herself, Alex had a better chance than most. Bucky gently ran his fingertips down her face, to brush away the stray hair that covered it, and as he did so, her eyes twitched. He drew back, holding in a breath as he waited. Slowly, Alex blinked in the light, coughing a little as she tried to move.

Finding that it ached too much, she turned her head to look at Bucky, brow furrowing as her eyes adjusted to the light that reflected off the bright white snow. "Where's your arm?" she croaked, taking steady, wheezing breaths.

He gave her a small smile, "It's not important."

"We have very different ideas of what's important."

This time he actually laughed, before his face fell, "I tried to catch you… but, you were gone before I could."

"That wasn't what happened to your arm is it?" she tried to look around, like she was going to spot his metal arm lying in the snow next to her.

Bucky shook his head with a smile. Again, Alex tried to sit up, but groaned when she felt the intense pain that came with it, Bucky wanted so desperately to be able to scoop her up and carry her away from here, but for obvious reasons that wouldn't happen. And, almost as if he could sense his friend's dilemma, Steve approached them.

"We should probably get out of here," he said quickly, "Buck, start up the plane, I'll get Alex."

Reluctantly, Bucky gave Alex's hand a quick squeeze before he clamoured to his feet again, moving over to the plane, as Steve slipped his arms underneath Alex – her pained grunts made him feel uneasy about moving her, but he knew that there was no other choice – he and Bucky needed to leave now, there was no time for them to wait for her to heal, and neither of them were about to just leave Alex there alone, lying on the frozen ground.

 

Alex didn't realise she'd blacked out again until she woke up in a minimalistic hospital room, all clean lines and floor length glass windows. It looked expensive, and for a moment she thought she might have been dreaming when she saw the lush green vegetation outside, and frankly, the massive black panther statue sitting amongst the leaves wasn't exactly helping root her in reality.

"You're awake," Bucky stood, leaning over to kiss Alex on the forehead. She moved to sit up and found that she was in considerably less pain.

"How long was I out?"

"Four hours, maybe a little longer. I'm not sure exactly when you passed out."

Alex couldn't help but be impressed by her recovery time. A fall like that, she thought she'd be out of the game a lot longer than a few hours. Looking down at herself, the once heavy bruising and deep cuts, were now mostly healed, and it looked more like she'd been in a minor collision, rather than falling over forty feet.

"How are you feeling?" Bucky asked, perching on the edge of the bed, as she sat up completely.

Her eyes widened, "Surprisingly good," she shifted a little, to be able lean her head on Bucky's shoulder, before sitting up quickly again, "Your arm! What happened? How is it?"

Bucky put his hand on her shoulder lightly, with a chuckle, "Alex, calm down. I couldn't feel it before, I can't feel it now," as he turned, Alex could see that someone had covered over what was left of his arm, and now all that remained was a stump at the shoulder. "All it means, is that I'm gonna have to get a new one. Probably a better one, too."

"Where are we anyway?" Alex asked, finally feeling like she could relax, resting her head on Bucky's shoulder once more.

"Wakanda."

"Where?"

"Wakanda. The home of King T'Challa, the Black Panther himself." When Alex looked at him, confused, Bucky simply shrugged, "You're better off asking Steve about that. All I know is we're safe here and they're gonna fix me."

"Fix you?"

"My arm… And my head. So Hydra can't get in there again."

"How?"

"Sam's flying in with Wanda. Hopefully she's gonna be able to undo whatever they did."

Alex smiled as she lay back down. It seemed like everything was going to work out after all. Bucky went to get off the bed, but instead he was pulled back to lie down next to her. Alex shifted her head onto his chest, so Bucky could wrap his arm around her.

"Y'know, earlier when we were fighting?"

"Yeah?"

"And you said you were pregnant?"

"Oh god," she groaned, burying her face in his shoulder, "I completely forgot about that. I'm so sorry for putting you through that." He heard her muffled laugh.

"It's okay," he smiled, tightening his hold on her. "After the initial shock had worn off, I kinda liked the idea."

Alex's head shot up, and Bucky thought for a moment that he'd said too much, until she gave him a little smile, chin coming to rest on his chest. "You want kids? …With me?" she added as an afterthought, as though she needed to double check his meaning.

He nodded with a smile, his hand stroking through her hair, "I want everything with you, Alex."

Her heart almost burst at the sincerity of his words, "Let's just start with the engagement and go from there."

"So you do still want to marry me?"

"You already asked – there's no taking it back now, mister."

"Damn!" he teased, but groaned as Alex pinched him in the side. He tightened his grip around her, pulling her close to his chest again, "Why would I ever want to take it back?" He grinned, kissing her tenderly.

Together, they lay quietly for a while, just enjoy the fact that, after everything, they were both here together safe – and for the most part in one piece. They'd survived everything that had been thrown at them. And in that moment Alex knew that that was exactly what they were.

They were survivors.

"So, what happens now?" she asked Bucky, whose steady breathing was of more comfort to her than anything else right now – just knowing he was lying there beside her.

"I have no idea. But whatever it is, I think we'll be okay."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> So, we got there in the end (if not a little later than I intended) - but - this is the end of Alex and Bucky's story for now. I may do some oneshots at some point, but this is the end of the Soldier's Girl trilogy. Right now, I'm working on a story about Tony Stark's daughter, so hopesully I'll be publishing that soon.
> 
> Until then, you guys have been amazing - thank you so much for all the follows, favourites and reviews, I love you all for it :3 - and I really hope that you've enjoyed Bucky and Alex's story. Feel free to let me know if there's a oneshot you'd like to see Bucky and Alex in!


	13. Oneshot - Life in Wakanda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back quicker than expected with the first oneshot - suggested by Qvuotlaimi on FF- is Bucky dealing with family life in Wakanda. Hope you enjoy it and let me know if you want to see anything else!

“I don’t like this,” Bucky’s lips tightened, “I don’t like this at all.”

“You promised!”

He huffed, “Yeah, well, you said this was going to be fun – looks like we both lied.”

“On the contrary,” Alex replied, sinking down onto the couch beside him, “I explicitly said that this _wasn’t_ going to be fun.”

“Then why are we doing it?!”

“Because normal people plan their weddings!”

“We’re not normal people, Alex,” Bucky groaned, his head dropping into his hands, “I’m a 90-year-old ex-assassin and you can heal yourself.”

“Unless you’re pitching that as a theme, you’re not helping.”

It was safe to say that being in Wakanda was making Bucky a little stir crazy. He was thankful that T’Challa was allowing them to stay, and in doing so, was protecting them from whoever or whatever was coming for them next – but there wasn’t a whole lot to do. Even with his new, high-tech arm, and a clear head, it had been decades since he’d had to deal with normal life, and to be honest, he was never very good at it then.

But, having Alex here was a blessing – when she wasn’t getting him to look at colour schemes and wedding locations.

He pulled her into his arms, “What’s the big deal?” She looked at him in disbelief, “Just hear me out. Getting married to you is the dream. But, with all this planning, it’s becoming a little bit of a headache.”

Alex sighed heavily, “I just want everything to be perfect. So much has happened to us over these last few years – there’s been so many times where it didn’t look like we were going to make it – and I just want one _perfect_ thing for us.”

Bucky cupped Alex’s face in his hands and smiled, “Alex, _you_ are my perfect thing. And frankly, we could get married on a trash heap, and it would still be the most special and perfect day of my life. Because I’m getting to marry the love of my life.”

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, Alex knew that Bucky was right, the details didn’t matter as long as they were together, “We’re not getting married on a trash heap.”

“Fine!” he said dramatically, with a laugh. “Crush my dreams!”

Alex leant her head on Bucky’s shoulder, “What about before you went into the war? What did you imagine your life would be like?”

“Never really gave it much thought – I was young. I liked that girls liked me. I didn’t give a lot of thought to the big happy ending, picket-fence deal. I’d have probably met a nurse in the war, we’d have got married at the court house, had some kids – same as my parents did, as everyone’s parents did.”

Bucky really hadn’t thought about it at all, in retrospect not even when he was younger. The truth of it was, back in his day, going to war was the ‘done thing’ – guys his age barely thought about what it really meant to be going. Not until it was way too late to turn back. Common knowledge was that the soldiers were proud of fighting for their country, the truth of it was that they were also terrified. Terrified of dying, terrified of never coming back to their families – in some cases, they were terrified of what would happen if they _did_ go home.

It was difficult for Bucky to think now what his life would’ve been like. All he knew was the life he’d been leading, and the idea of his story having gone a different way, of not knowing what he knew now, of not returning home to see his best friend…he couldn’t imagine it. Despite everything that had happened – he was actually happy.

They’d been sitting together quietly, Alex flicking through a wedding magazine, though she didn’t seem to actually be reading it. He wrapped his arm around her waist, “Are you okay?” She asked, tilting her head up to look at him.

He nodded, “Just thinking.”

“Anything in particular?”

“About what we should have for dinner,” he lied.

“Nu-uh mister, I’m not letting you cooking again after what happened last time.”

“It wasn’t that bad!” he laughed, “Everyone just overreacted.”

Alex turned quickly to face him, “You almost burned the kitchen down!”

“It was a _small_ fire!”

“That’s still way more fire than there should’ve been, Buck.”

Bucky threw his hands up in the air with a shrug, “What can I say? Kitchens were a lot different in my day.”

“Okay, grandpa, anything you say.”

Alex stood, Bucky pinching her side playfully as she did so, “You love me really,” he grinned.

Heading to the kitchen to find them something to eat, she called over her shoulder to him, “You’re lucky I do, Mr. Barnes, or else you’d starve.”

When he first met Alex, she’d had no reason to help him, yet she did. Since then, he’d done whatever he could to keep her safe. It started as him paying her back, but at some point it became this need inside of him – he _needed_ her to be safe. Suddenly, to him at least, he began to see Alex not only as his saviour when he was at his lowest, but as a companion, a friend, and soon after that she was the one person he couldn’t ever imagine being without. Alex was a piece of him now, a piece he never wanted to lose.

And he knew, right now, if someone asked him whether he wanted to return to being the man he was before the war, he’d refuse. Because even if it meant going through everything again – the war, Hydra, and everything they made him do – he’d do it. It would be worth it to be here with Alex, and with Steve. The love of his life, and his closest friend, they were here, and that meant more to him than any offer of a quiet, suburban life.

Even if he couldn’t cook without burning the kitchen.

 


End file.
